Grasping and Healing

As I did not choose to wear the white shirt, time and again, I began to understand how the grasping behaviors steal our joy. There it was—my beautiful white shirt. I looked good in that shirt. I felt attractive in the shirt. But once I became self-conscious about the spot, I put the shirt away unused.

The five grasping behaviors that represent the down-and-dirty work of each of the Five Tibetans are confusion, resentment, doubt, fear, and miserliness. I am going to propose that in each case, there is a spot. A stain. A past hurt or slight or devastation. Perhaps a time your needs were not met. Maybe a person who was meant to keep you safe and who, instead, brought physical or emotional pain. The spots can be tiny or large, but they all have the same result: they cause you to put away the best parts of yourself, wear other colors and shy away from your true feelings and self. Each of the grasping behaviors has the potential to not only steal your joy, but steal your life as well.

Finally, I was determined to eradicate that spot. I again tried all the homespun remedies. In the end, I had to go right at it with a Q-tip soaked in bleach, my mother’s suggestion. I had been afraid to do that in the beginning, as bleach can sometimes cause a spot to darken rather than remove it. But, in this case, the spot disappeared. The shirt was washed one more time and once again hangs out in the open ready to be worn and enjoyed.