What to Do When your Life is Turned Upside Down

Living a spiritual life, becoming aware and listening within, is an accelerated path of growth and evolution. Sometimes this journey inspires peaceful, joyous and lofty thoughts, feelings and experiences, but not always. Along the way you are likely to experience times of sudden and unexpected change and confusion.

I recently saw a client, a woman about to turn forty, whose world and marriage was turned upside down by an overwhelming and unexpected attraction to another man. The last time I saw Vicky was a couple of years ago. At that time she was happily married with two young children. Now confused and ridden with guilt over her affair, Vicky wanted to understand why she was drawn and magnetized to this man and what to do now that her life was in shambles.

Vicky is not alone. This kind of experience is more common than we would like to imagine. Many are jolted out of their predictable life by unforeseen and unexpected people and events. This might be spurred on by the entry of someone who stirs up unexpected feelings, the sudden loss of a job, failing or not getting into a long sought after program or opportunity, financial loss, being left, betrayed or finding out upsetting information about a loved one.

These cataclysmic occurrences, ignite and stir up new feelings and emotions that we cannot always explain. We no longer know who we are, why the unexpected is happening and what to do about it. There is a powerful force that seems to take over what we thought we wanted and steers us in a totally unexpected direction.

The Root of Change

The root of these life-chaining events is within you. You have come into this life to fully experience who you are. You are here to evolve, develop compassion, practice forgiveness and to love and experience joy. If who you want to be and the life that you want to live is not in synch with your innermost truth, your desires will take constant effort to manifest. Even then they will require continued exhaustive energy and not be long lasting. Your powerful authentic self seeks to break down the barriers that limit your potential and the expression of your truth.

Vicky like many others, was not intentionally living a false life and suppressing her true thoughts and feelings. She was doing the best that she could to be a good wife and mother. She loved her family and was not looking to have an affair.

Yet, unexpected changes occur when we settle into a false life. We do not always know who we are and what we need. We are not so much trying to consciously control and limit ourselves, we just do not know the potential that lies within and our true purpose. Life shows us, often in unpleasant ways, what lies deep within our soul and psyche. Taken into places and situations that we would normally avoid, we are re-routed from the safety of our comfort zone and like a baby bird thrown out of the nest. We come to know who we are when we are pushed and prodded to change and grow. Under normal circumstances we would not choose to be tested in these ways. We avoid change and do all we can do to control our day to day circumstances.

If you find yourself in one of these kinds of life-altering situations here are a few helpful suggestions.

Do not try to control what is happening As much as you may not understand why and what you are going through, surrender and let go. When we resist and try to control ourselves and life, change only becomes harder. Once in motion transformation is inevitable.

Keep the focus on you and your process. As tempting as it is to blame or become preoccupied with outer events and other people, what is happening is about you. People and circumstances come along when we are ready for change. When we need a wake up call our soul creates the perfect experience to get our attention. Conditions will right themselves as you accept your lessons, evolve and transform.

Take time for yourself. Instead of trying to figure out what you may not yet be able to understand, accept your confusion and give yourself some time.

If you do not know what to do, do not do anything. You may need solitude to listen within and re-connect with your inner self.

Have compassion for yourself and the people in your life that are affected by what you are going through. Compassion is the ability to fully accept and love and care for yourself without judgment. Listen to others and accept the fear and pain that they may be experiencing. Listen to your own fear, doubt and stress and keep loving yourself.

Forgive yourself and forgive others. Even if you do not feel forgiving and especially loving. Use positive affirmations that support and spark your most wise and loving inner self.

Take baby steps and constantly assess how you feel. Know that it is all right to make mistakes, change your mind and feel differently from one moment to another. Do not make commitments or long lasting changes unless you feel a calm inner assurance that you are on the right path.

Notice new aspects of your personality and inner self that are emerging. Integrate these into your daily life. Listen to your heart and let it be your guide. Follow what helps you to feel centered, balanced, loving and calm.

Know that the confusion, the tumultuous events and changes, will pass. Wait out the storm. Clarity, renewed energy and a higher state of well-being and inner peace is on its way.

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About the Author

Sherrie Dillard (Durham, NC) has been a professional psychic, medium, and therapist for over twenty years. She has taught intuition development at Duke University Continuing Studies, and has led workshops and classes on spiritual development and spiritual healing nationally and internationally.