Transform Relationships with the Five Agreements
Finally, we’d scribbled key words and phrases on a notepad that gave us insights into how we really felt and what was not right about the relationship-as well as how we’d feel if we looked at it from the viewpoint of the new agreement.
“My relationship with myself sucks,” Danny had muttered when the game started. “On a scale on 1 to 10, it’s a 5.” But now, 20 minutes later, he was laughing uproariously-mostly at himself. With the help of the Fourth Agreement (“Always do your best”), he’d upped his relationship rating to a 10, and the only drug in sight was a deck of Toltec Agreements cards.
A similar transformation had taken place in Carol. “I realize I love food more than feeling good,” she’d confessed. “I find every excuse to eat the things I shouldn’t: carbs, dairy, sugars, you name it.” Now, after applying the wisdom of the First Agreement (“Be impeccable with your word”) and a few encouraging suggestions from her fellow players, she’d resolved to walk every day, drink kale and spinach shakes in the morning, and leave the funky foods behind. The room resounded with applause, then with Carol’s laughter, and no one escaped the warmth of her all-embracing hugs. “This game creates intimacy,” she gushed.
“Everybody who plays it falls hopelessly in love!”
I’ve facilitated many of these games, and strange as it may seem, people do seem to “fall in love” when they play it. Why? Because it was designed to help you let down and relax-and in that space of relaxation to let go of old blocks and beliefs. For a few precious moments, it creates a “safe space” where you don’t have to protect and defend yourself.
