The Twin Flame Label: Is It A Healthy One?
Is the Twin Flame Label a Healthy One?
by Mandy Peterson
Working as an advisor in the new-age industry, I can end up talking to many individuals, both as clients and friends. As a result, I’ve listened to a multitude of individuals and seen how certain new-age ideas have been employed. I’ve also observed the detrimental effects they have had. If consistent patterns arise, I may begin to question, “What is it about certain beliefs; that instead of bringing people more peace and contentment, they are making a great number of individuals feel ungrounded, codependent, addicted, anxious, or depressed?”
As one example, I’ve begun to see how the “twin flame” label can affect the consciousness of vulnerable individuals who are in love with someone who is unavailable in some form. This article is geared towards these individuals who are left rejected, pining and hoping for someone who they felt was a twin flame to be able to love them. I understand that psychics who advise others they have met their twin flame may feel that they are trying to offer help. However, from what I see, there is more harm than benefit occurring. It even seems that this kind of harm is being incorporated into the label of “twin flame”; as if a person should expect harm if they have encountered their twin.
From all I’ve observed in talking to individuals who have discussed twin flames and the questions that arise, it seems that a few patterns consistently arise that have frequent and consistent effects, such as:
1. The One and Only
The Philosophy:
We only have one twin flame. They are our other half. If we get to meet our “twin” in the physical world, we are to consider ourselves very blessed.
The Detrimental Effects:
A danger can arise if an individual, believing they have met their twin flame, become afraid to release their love object to move forward when a relationship does not pan out. From what I have observed, it can be especially difficult if a trusted psychic has identified such a person as a twin flame and encourages waiting (i.e. for someone who hasn’t called in 3 months or who is married, cheating or a player).
For the vulnerable individual, to release someone that they have accepted as their “twin” could be perceived as walking away from something or someone extremely exceptional. In the mind of the true believer, once lost, one can never have such a “special” love again. They have also lost the opportunity to bond with the other half of their soul.
As a result, a person can become very depressed, or terrified of rejection or loss. It can also result in codependency, obsession, clinging, and psychic addiction. In severe cases, I’ve seen it result in loss of touch with reality, restraining orders and stalking.
2. Increasing our Frequency
The Philosophy:
How many articles or channelings inform us that these are special times where we are “increasing in frequency”? There are also many articles that can be found on the subject of how meeting our twin flame will help this process.
The Detrimental Effects I Observe:
Like I stated in the first point, something very sacred becomes attached to the idea that a romantic relationship can be mystical, sacred, and evolve a person’s frequency or consciousness. So, again, this can serve to block a person from evolving on their own. It can also lead to feelings of codependence, obligation, expectation, frustration and other unhealthy behaviors.
3. “Why Twin Flames Run”
The Philosophy:
There are tons of articles on the internet that claim that having a twin is supposed to be difficult and full of challenges. A favorite website I will often be quoted has the domain name “why-twin-flames-run.com.”
The Detrimental Effects I Observe:
Such websites and philosophies make abusive relationships and being “loved and left” into something sacred. They, again, can keep a vulnerable person from accepting a reality that someone doesn’t want to be with them anymore.
The information is also slightly misleading. A person does not need to be a twin flame to run from love. A lot of people can be afraid of commitment. After all, we are mentally conditioned more than ever before by culture and media to accept casual sexual relations or being “loved and left” as “okay” or to be expected with dating. Sex isn’t sacred anymore, and when sex isn’t treated as sacred, people’s feelings get hurt and they can develop all sorts of defensive patterns, attachment issues, fears of commitment, etc. Divorces where people get destroyed, slandered or taken for everything they have can make people fearful, as well.
4. “Intense Feelings”
The Philosophy:
There are countless articles on the internet that state how twin flame relationships trigger “intense feelings.” In fact, some of them state that you can recognize a twin flame from the intense feelings you are having.
The Detrimental Effects I Observe:
This, again, leads to confusion clinging, obsession and depression. It also confused “intense feelings” with “love.” Often, the wrong kind of intense feelings that could offer themselves as red flags and warnings get confused with love or being “meant to be together.”
What To Do If You Are Exhibiting Some Of The Detrimental Effects:
1. Understand that the new-age, like any other religion, can be imperfect in its understanding. Spirituality should not make a person more imbalanced but less so. Be careful with concepts that advise you that feeling sick, strung out, not sleeping, depressed, etc., are signs of “increased vibration.” More likely, many of us are having symptoms and intense emotions because we are out of touch with nature and what is natural within us. We are also locked into mind-sets and philosophies that keep us overstriving, anxious, focused on outcomes and attached to labels.
2. Be mindful concerning abuse of the occult. You will know if the occult is being abused if experimenting with it leads to addiction, obsession, hyper-vigilance, or psychic/empathic stalking. The way back onto the spiritual path again is to focus on letting go of control in order to find peace of mind. So, if anything or anyone is making you feel addicted and obsessed, the lesson could be one of transcending or releasing that addiction or attachment.
3. Do not believe everything a psychic tells you. I’ve known multiple psychics who’ve had multiple “twin flames.” So, if a psychic doesn’t know their “one and only” twin flame, how can they accurately know yours?
4. Remember that love addictions (see loveaddicts.org), codependency and unhealthy relationships can trigger obsession and intense feelings. For example, people who date others who are hot-and-cold can commonly report feeling “intense feelings.” Casanovas and romance addicts can be very romantic, empathic, and charismatic. They can come on very intensely and want to move a relationship forward very fast. However, they can lose interest and stop calling you just as fast. They can get a high off of the intense feelings fostered with many women.
5. Let go of beliefs that if you dream of someone or “feel” or sense them a lot that they are your twin. If you are attached to a person, feel a sense of rejection, or are receiving psychic readings, it would be natural that you would be in another person’s energy field more, dreaming about them, etc. Remember to feel your own feelings. Tune into your own energy field and emotions in order to process your own grief and feelings of disappointment.
6. Let go of the “meant to be together” mentality. We have many lessons to learn from the people in our lives and sometimes the main lesson a person might come into our lives to teach us is to let go rather than hang on. Some of our biggest lessons during this time may be of letting go of dependency, codependency, and need for approval in order to discover how to truly love and how to allow ourselves to be loved for who we are.
7. Most important, try to let the labels go. Instead, seek to simply focus on how to be a loving person, how to love yourself and how to receive love. You are under no contract to love someone who does not love you back, who cheats on you, “runs”, hasn’t called, is married to another person or anything else. Know that you can still experience a special and thriving relationship with the person who is right for you and who can help you evolve. The most important twin flame is the flame of the holy spark within your own loving heart.
In summary, remember that there is nothing spiritual or mystical about labels, clinging and not letting go. The whole idea behind mysticism is one of letting go of attachments and clinging; finding peace of mind while becoming mindful rather than obsessed. Many mystics were solitary and were not codependent upon relationships in any way (familial or romantic). So, know that you will not deter yourself from becoming a more enlightened or “higher frequency” person through being alone or losing a love that you feel is a “twin flame.” If anything, the mystical approach is to be entirely devoted to spirit. Spirit becomes the twin flame connection, and enlightenment comes through the release of attachment to illusions of all kinds and forms. After all, we talk about how everything is illusion. If so, then it is safe to let them go.
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About the Author
Mandy Peterson is a psychic visionary, empath, channel and EFT Practitioner. She is the author of the book, “I Am the Lotus, Not the Muddy Pond: Peace Through Non-conformity” and the EFT Divination & Chakra Deck. As an empathic healer and reader, Mandy works 1-to-1 with clients, helping them to achieve clarity, peace and balance. For more information, see Mandy’s website at www.mysticmandy.com.
Excellent article ….huge eye opener for everyone !
It sounds to me like the author is speaking from a standpoint of never having this experience.
I have known of many people happy with being in twin flame relationships; I don’t think it’s fair that twin flames are all about pining and unrequited love. My personal belief is in many soul mates, those of the same sex as well, and about one’s own soul being whole without another, and that we should strive for equal compassion toward all. Twin flame beliefs, like all beliefs, serve some well and others less well, and I agree can be detrimental to some. To that end, there is a very important and useful message in this article. Realizing that we have many soul mates is, imho, helpful in the realization of the fated nature of many relationships, friends, family, partners, even pets, and even connections which remain unfulfilled, all of which are part of the wholeness and completeness of the one soul.
I’m 40 yes old. I’m still single it really bother me. I now I have made choices in my life that I could take on myself, but I’m really wanting someone that’s Gans be there for me and care for me
Just so people know, I’m speaking about something that happens in the psychic industry and is very common. Psychics know it as well. 90% of people who come to me for a reading are often not in a solid relationship but struggling with an unrequited love situation. Sometimes they will be told this person is a twin flame. Sometimes they will see articles such as “Why Twin Flames Run” etc and it is VERY confusing and prevents them from letting go of someone who really doesn’t love them. I state in the second paragraph. “This article is geared towards these individuals who are left rejected, pining and hoping for someone who they felt was a twin flame to be able to love them.” So, this is the target audience and how they can cope.
I was thinking the exact same thing, Crystal.
Thank you for elaborating.
I think this article is very important to keep us from illusions. Which are mentally created things. Your system tends to create these illusions when not being able to deal with intense feelings or emotions or experiences, as a way for survival you could say (this is how I experienced it in my case anyway). It is very needed to question your situation, and I agree that we should be very careful to label ourselves.
When you know yourself well enough, and that is, you ‘ve walked the path consciously in this life or have gathered this consciousness from passed life, I don’t think you are prone to fall for these kind of labeling. You know, from a deeper sense (not from your head only), who you are and what is right for you, and the name of it doesn’t really matter.
When you do get addicted and attached to these definitions like twin flames, then I agree with this author that it can be unhealthy. These addictions and attachments are mental things, because the head or mind is very good at focussing/ filtering, but our systems, especially in these times of so many inputs we have to manage, may be prone to overdoing (thus becoming obsessions and addictions). If you recognise these you can work on them. A process sometimes of years to “let hem go”.
When you’ve experienced enough in your life, you can literally see when you’ve been in an addiction and have clinged to illusions. Because when these fall off, you will literally feel this and see the difference. Your system is better at tune and without you (thus your head which is used to control) noticing, it will search up challenges in your life to get rid of these illusions. When you let go of these things, the difference is huge in your system. You actually do not feel any need (or way less need) for labeling any experience you have, or when you do, you feel that you don’t want to do this any longer, it doesn’t feel right.
And the challenges you face in your relationships, whatever label you want to give your relationship, can help you grow, if you let them. You just have to do the inner and outer work and learn to see how it helps you grow (and then you gradually let go of unnecessary things, for you). Until you know yourself better you see, and you are able to see when cenrtain experiences were/are unhealthy. You recognise them as unhealthy in yourself, and learn from them and eventually, gradually let them go.
And you really don’t feel like clinging, or obsessing, there is a deeper need. The other person can be in a different country and you feel whole/ complete, and some kind of comfort in the bigger sense, with everything there is, also all your fears and pain and grief and all these difficult things to bare.You also don’t want to be put in a corner as being “a twin flame”, like that is what I am and that’s it. Because right now, with the common knowledge we have it can be “twin flames” and in a couple of years, we evolved and discovered so many more things. And we are so much we can’t even contain this reality well yet. We are are still growing…
Anywho, this is me talking from my own experience with inner work of conscious growth for the passed 9 years. I’m dealing myself with accepting more “not knowing”/ ‘openness” and thus accepting feelings and emotions and experiences in the moment, and how difficult this can be (because it’s new and sometimes even feels scary), but not impossible. Thus in the process of letting go of addictions and labelings, less from only the head, and more from the whole system, head and the whole rest of the body and our system. Which isn’t easy at all, but is paying off inmensely, I just want to grow more, it so much more peaceful when you don’t only live from your head, the head itself is happy with it too cause it doesn’t need to work that hard, there’s the rest to complement it 🙂