Katherine Woodward Thomas: Conscious Uncoupling
Exclusive Interview with Katherine Woodward Thomas
OMTIMES: Can you explain what exactly Conscious Uncoupling is?
Katherine Woodward Thomas: Philosophically, a Conscious Uncoupling is a breakup that’s characterized by goodwill, generosity and respect. It’s a way of ending a relationship that is honoring, and leaves both people feeling valued and appreciated for all that was shared, and one that strives to maintain a sense of cooperation and goodness moving forward, particularly if you have children together.
Practically speaking, it’s the name of an online program I’ve had the privilege of teaching to thousands of people since its inception three years ago, taking them through a step-by-step process on how to honorably complete a romantic union, minimize damage done in the process, and breakup in a way that leaves your heart whole and well, and ready to love and be loved again.
OMTIMES: This is such a refreshing approach to breaking up. What led you to create Conscious Uncoupling?
Katherine Woodward Thomas: I’m a baby boomer and, like many of us who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, I lived through my parents’ very nasty and contentious divorce. So, when my husband of ten years and I choose to end our marriage, we didn’t want to put our daughter through what I’d gone through as a kid. Yet our breakup could not have been more different. It was really very kind, and characterized by an uncommon spirit of generosity. Quite the change from breakups I’d had in the past where I couldn’t eat or sleep for months, and where I felt consumed with an irrational rage. Friends who witnessed our separation would shake their heads and say that they’d never seen any couple let go of their marriage with as much goodwill.
And so once we were through it, as a licensed therapist and teacher of personal and spiritual development, I wanted to see if I could decipher the process of what we’d done that allowed for such a respectful and honoring ending. And I discovered that there were five distinct steps we’d engaged, and I was able to create the Conscious Uncoupling program to help people duplicate the healthy way that Mark and I transitioned our relationship to its new form–that of being a great co-parenting team to our teenage daughter.
