Learning to Embrace Prosperity
Embracing Prosperity
It won’t surprise anyone when I say that money is an incredibly charged subject. People have very strong, sometimes surprising feelings about money: some people hate it, seeing it as “dirty,” or “evil.” They fear money and prosperity, and how their life would change if they had more of it.
Some people feel like they can never have enough. They accumulate copious amounts but are never satisfied. It’s the same dynamic as for an over-eater- no matter how much money they take in, they remain empty and unsatisfied. People who over-consume money are as obsessive in their thinking and compulsive in their behaviors around money as any alcoholic, gambler, over-eater or drug addict.
Money, being highly symbolic, can easily become addictive. Like other addictive substances or activities, accumulating and spending money causes a surge of Dopamine in our brain- the high we feel after an eating binge or a gambling spree, for example. We want to repeat this high so we pursue more and more money.
Unfortunately, just as with any other addiction, we soon grow tolerant to the emotional and physiological effects of the behavior and begin to need more and more money to experience less and less of a “high.” We feel less and less satisfied, the more money we have. Ultimately, we’re much less happy and fulfilled.
Our attitudes and beliefs about money arise from our family or origin and the society we grow up in. Unfortunately, many of us have poor role-models when it comes to money: too many people in our parents’ generation thought that it was crass to discuss money. As a result, we never learned how to properly budget, save, or invest it wisely. We never grew comfortable having and using money and most importantly, we never got into the habit of thinking carefully about our money.
Our North American society gives us so many mixed messages about money: we learn that we should desire more, but that it’s evil to covet it; we should focus more attention on earning it but make sure to save it; we should spend more to help boost our economy but we should give away more to charity; we should focus on it more but not be so caught up with it.
The thing we need to know about money is that when all is said and done, money is just energy. It’s all around us, flowing toward us and away from us. We can be open and receptive to it, ambivalent about it or resistant to receiving it.
One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of people don’t feel entitled to have money. They feel guilty about spending it on themselves. They feel that they don’t deserve to have the comfort and security that money brings. They compare themselves to others who are less fortunate and feel bad enjoying what their money can buy.
These attitudes come from childhood experiences which adversely affected their self-esteem. The truth is that everyone is entitled to comfort and security; everyone deserves to have enough money to live without fear. Everyone here in North America is free to pursue prosperity.
Those of us who aren’t caught up in guilt around money often believe something at the other end of the spectrum: the myth that more money and things equal more happiness. As I said in my post on greed, this isn’t true. We need enough money to ensure our comfort and security and to have a certain level of enjoyment in life but after that, more money is more often related to unhappiness.
It’s similar to over-indulging in anything: it makes us feel bad to overeat, drink excessively, over-work; even over-exercising causes us injuries. Accumulating more money leads to appreciating it that much less. The more we have, the less satisfied we feel.
So here’s the thing: prosperity isn’t just about having money; it’s about being able to use the money we have in ways that make sense. In North America, we’re preoccupied with status. Our superiority is demonstrated by our designer clothes and accessories, fancy cars and giant homes. Conspicuous consumption takes precedence over comfort and security.
In Europe, people are more likely to spend their money on things that bring them enjoyment and togetherness: they purchase a country home where family and friends can gather on a regular basis to eat good food and drink good wine; where all the children can play together.
Embracing prosperity is feeling entitled to have enough money and to spend it on things that enrich one’s life. It’s enjoying what money buys and having a secure future. It’s knowing that once there’s enough money, pursuing more and more is a trap.
Embracing prosperity is seeing that having enough money is part of being one’s best self; it’s using this money to do good, whether through supporting one’s family, helping members of the community or contributing to the higher good of the planet.
We need to see that embracing prosperity has nothing to do with the baser uses of money: to oppress, coerce, or dominate others.
Prosperity should be a condition in which everyone benefits; not a state of imbalance in which some are over-indulged and others are deprived or exploited.
Just like fire, money can be the source of good things and bad. And just like fire, it’s up to us to manage it properly so that we make the best use of it. When it comes to fire, we wouldn’t want to forgo central heating or cooked food; why then should we throw the baby out with the bath water when it comes to money?
Money, being such a charged subject, must be approached with an attitude of mindfulness. We must work at making it simply a means to an end, rather than the overwhelmingly important end in itself. We must face the truth about what isn’t enough and what is enough. We must recognize the risks inherent in the extremes of having too little or too much money: jealousy, greed, covetousness, violence.
The goal of prosperity shouldn’t be to fill an emotional void, impose one’s will on others or impress the neighbors. It should be to facilitate the creation of a fulfilling and meaningful life, in which we contribute to society and create loving connections with family and friends.
Embracing prosperity should be a win-win situation: when we have enough for ourselves, we can use our money to facilitate positive change for others. We can transform our money into good deeds that help and support our immediate family as well as our global community.
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