Temple Hayes: When Did You Die?
“Once a door is open in the heart, there is no way to close it again. An “ah ha” moment is more than a mystical thunder and lightning awakening, a true “ah ha” moment makes us larger energetically than our current clothes, the new of us will no longer fit in the life of the old us.
In the book, I use the sacred story of the beggar and his rags…though he is gifted new riches and clothing, he carries the old rags with him.
An “ah ha” moment is more than an intellectual understanding; it is when we let go of the old rags that we carry around with us, and this requires the deepening of integration which brings with it freedom from self-bondage. “
OMTIMES: You use the words “dying while we are living”…what do you mean by that from your own perspective?
Temple Hayes: In our society, we are so obsessed with either denying or avoiding the very fact that we will truly die—so much so that we do not realize that living and dying energetically are daily choices. This can be the subtle deaths such as not ever speaking your mind and your heart with
People around you. This can also be a person who is miserable in their work or career; the person who spends his/her entire life being like father or big brother, rather than being who she/he is destined to be; this can be someone that despised their parent so much–that rather than break the cycle – they become them. All the ways in which we do not listen to ourselves, these are all subtle deaths. They take away our energy and we are not able to live a vibrant life.
OMTIMES: Tell us about your story and how that instigated the practices in this book.
Temple Hayes: I remember when I was little and I felt such an immense feeling of not belonging. I could clearly see energy then and I witnessed so many people just going through the motions of life. I would see how my grandparents did everything the doctor said and never used their own minds. My mother was taken away from me for a period of time, being punished for an alleged affair by the family, giving her shock treatments. And my father was a raging sugarholic who spoke to her and us in ways that an individual ought to not ever be spoken to. My house growing up was crazy like the film, Prince of Tides and we were all dying. My father stepped on my cat, killing it, then ran over my dog with his truck – crazy is what crazy does. I did not relate to anyone spiritually in my community and times were different then — you could not seek a tribe who understands you on the internet. My parents discovered I was having a relationship with a girl older than me and they sent me to the mental health clinic to be evaluated. Oh no, I thought I was going to be destroyed like my mom with shock treatments, so I said whatever they needed to hear. The love of my life could not be, nor could I.
