Forgiving the Unforgivable
On the evening of June 10, a white supremacist attended a Bible study group at the historic Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, pulled out a gun, and shot nine people to death, including one of the ministers. He intended to create a race war. Several days later the families of the slain issued a public statement saying that they forgave the killer.
Wow.
Soon Internet posts and blogs were buzzing with some people applauding the act of forgiveness, and lots of people saying that such a heinous act should not, and could not, be forgiven.
Perhaps we can bring the matter to greater clarity by illuminating what real forgiveness is. Let’s start with what forgiveness is not. It is not condoning, excusing, allowing, approving, accepting, or being indifferent to acts of unkindness, unconsciousness, or evil. Nor does it mean we should deny the pain that such acts cause, or let dangerous people roam the streets to hurt or kill again.
Forgiveness means that we refuse to indulge or perpetuate the hatred that causes people to do hateful things. To hate the hater means that we stoop to the consciousness that moved the hater to destroy. Forgiveness calls us to offset acts of darkness by shining more light into the world. Darkness has never eradicated darkness. Only light has. Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” Somewhere, some when, somehow, someone has to stop the cycle of pain.
Forgiveness means to not allow ourselves to succumb to the smallness that has kept the world trapped in tiny boxes; to choose the high road, even if our companions are few. To model release rather than clutching to sorrow. Forgiveness means that we identify with our deepest nature as spiritual beings rather than our human frailty. How challenging this is for we who find ourselves in human bodies in a world consumed with racism, nationalism, and religious superiority. The families of those murdered must have suffered terrible pain. Yet they chose to rise above it, and offer the world a model of release rather than vengeance. Such an act sends a wave of release into the universe that activates the healing we so sorely need.
A Course in Miracles tells us that when you keep someone in the prison of your judgment, you have to sit at the door of their cell to make sure they do not escape. Now the jailer is in prison as well. At the very least, forgiveness is a gift to the forgiver. If you have a hard time forgiving someone, forgive for your own sake, if not theirs.
We all have someone or someone we have a hard time forgiving. If the Charleston murders had happened to any one of our families, how many of us could come forth with a statement of forgiveness? Another teaching from A Course in Miracles comes to mind here: “The holiest spot on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.” To take a situation where hate and revenge would be so easy to fall into—even condoned and supported by the masses—and use it as a fulcrum for release, emanates light into the darkness that can alter the lives of all who behold it.
The Charleston killer sought to start a race war, but instead the act opened the hearts of a nation. President Obama flew to Charleston to eulogize the dead and plead for awakening. People of all races sympathized, offered condolences, and prayed for the families. Ultimately the killer’s act did not alienate the races, but joined them.
We are all in this together.
Every day offers each of us a thousand opportunities to practice forgiveness. Not just lip service. The kind that heals. May we all find strength in our hearts to walk the high road such that hatred no longer finds vessels through which to hurt humanity.
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About the Author
Alan Cohen is the bestselling author of the newly-released Spirit Means Business, illuminating how you can successfully merge your career and financial path with your spiritual life. He will present a program related to this book on the US Mainland (west coast) in August. For more information about this program, Alan’s books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.AlanCohen.com.
