5 Tips to Break Up Like a Gentleman
The Five Best Tips for How to Break Up Like a Gentleman
Summer is here and the long, brutal winter is behind us. You might be someone who’s been unhappy with your relationship for a long time, but just didn’t have the energy to end it. Now that summer is here, you feel motivated to let go of what doesn’t work and maybe start something new, something better. You have to break up.
A break up is one of the least fun things a guy can do. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and even painful at times. People’s feelings get hurt. They might get angry at you, or worse, start crying.
Breaking up, though, is part and parcel of being a grown-up who has relationships. You need to know how to do it and how to do it right. There’s a gentlemanly way to break up with your partner and there’s the other way, and you don’t want to be that guy. Believe me, word gets around if you have a habit of breaking up in the wrong way.
Every woman who was a fan of the TV show, Sex and the City, and a few men as well, will remember the episode in which Berger, Carrie’s boyfriend, broke up with her on a post-it note. Forever afterwards, he was the guy who broke up with a post-it note. You don’t want to be that guy.
So here are your five tips on how to break up like a gentleman:
5 Tips to Break Up Like a Gentleman
Break Up Like a Gentleman Tip 1: Do not behave so badly that you provoke the woman into breaking up with you. That’s cowardly and nasty and will instantly give you bad karma.
Break Up Like a Gentleman Tip 2: No email, text, tweet, Facebook or God-forbid, post-it note break up. Man up, call the woman on the phone and tell her that it’s not working for you. Phone is better than face-to-face, as the woman gets to avoid the embarrassment of looking into the eyes of the person who’s rejecting her.
Break Up Like a Gentleman Tip 3: If you live together, do it at home. You might be tempted to break up in a public place, in order to avoid a scene, but that puts the woman in a more vulnerable position, as she’s being rejected out in public. Be a decent person and spare her the humiliation.
But, do not succumb to the temptation to jump into bed, either to comfort her, avoid your own discomfort or remember the good times. You’ll only confuse her and get her hopes up, or you’ll anger her even more. Breaking up means ending all aspects of the relationship, now.
Break Up Like a Gentleman Tip 4: Do not break up by disappearing without a word. A gentleman does not leave things hanging. He politely and respectfully lets the woman know that it’s over.
Break Up Like a Gentleman Tip 5: Don’t get your friends or the media to inform her that you’re breaking up. That’s a cop out. You’re an adult. Muster up your courage and tell her yourself.
Final point: If you break up with a woman and she totally falls apart or threatens suicide, the answer is not to get back together with her.
You are not responsible if a woman reacts in this way to a break up. You need to contact her family, or call 911 if you feel that she’s a danger to herself. If you allow her suicidal gesture to bring you back, you’ve just shown her that she has the perfect tool for keeping you with her, forever.
Don’t get hooked. If you need to break up, break up. Get her family and/or the experts to deal with her emotional issues.
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About the Author
Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist, that does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter. Listen here to her latest podcast. marciasirotamd.com
