Running Goodwill Deficits
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”—Charles Dickens, David Copperfield
While most of us do not keep a strict tally of who owes us and whom we owe favors to, the theme of imbalance can be affecting your life without your realizing it. You might be dealing with goodwill deficits. This happens when you give more than you take or take more than you give.
How do you spend intangible resources such as time and goodwill? Do you take time away from your family, intending to make it up someday? Maybe when your mother, child, or spouse wants you to read to her or listen to her talk about her concerns and her day, you say you are too busy.
Maybe you borrow from the goodwill of friends and relatives, but forget to devote time to helping them, checking in on them, listening to them, or sharing positive conversations and experiences with them. Perhaps you are abrupt or even insensitive to others at times because you believe the people who care about you will always forgive you and have goodwill toward you regardless of what you do.
All of us need to balance our budget of time and goodwill. If we are taking too much and running a goodwill deficit, we may be overburdening our relationships. If we are giving too much to others, however, our relationships may become draining because of goodwill deficits that are created. When it comes to borrowing time and goodwill from others, whom do you owe, and who owes you? Do you hold each other accountable for maintaining a balance?
Think about the value of the time you could have given to those you love, but didn’t. We can never be certain that the future holds opportunities to make up for goodwill deficits. Reflecting on where you need to correct those goodwill deficits and bring balance to relationships can help you to better nourish them.
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Carl Greer, PhD, PsyD, is a practicing clinical psychologist, Jungian analyst, and shamanic practitioner. He teaches at the C.G. Jung Institute of Chicago and is on staff at the Replogle Center for Counseling and Well-Being. Learn more at CarlGreer.com.