How to Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate
Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate by Choosing Love
Turning your mate into your soulmate is a process that requires daily attention, if not the occasional minute-by-minute effort when we must remember to choose love. Choosing love is when we realize that our partners’ happiness is as important to us as our own happiness and that we’re committed to sharing with that person our appreciation, affection, and attention.
One way to choose love is to practice generosity and kindness. One study by the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project, examining the role of generosity in marriage, found that the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly adds a new dimension to our understanding of how couples can build a strong, stable partnership. The questions in the study were directed in three areas. Did spouses offer small kindnesses to each other? Did they regularly express affection? Were they able to forgive? It’s clear that small daily doses of kindness and generosity can have a big impact on the happiness level of your relationship.
One thing I know with 98% certainty is this: Your partner didn’t wake up this morning thinking, how can I make my spouse crazy today?! Just like you and me, they want to be loved and accepted for who they are — warts and all. When we can learn to shift our perception of them and embrace them for the flawed yet loveable human beings that they are, everyone wins at love, and the prize for both of you is a love bigger, more yummy and delicious beyond anything you ever imagined.
A lifetime of soulmate love is a delicious soup of chemistry, communication, compatibility, connection, vulnerability and the choices we make to wear our rose-colored glasses. We all want, need and desire a partner who will be our lover, best friend, ally, and a soft place to land. We want someone with whom we can completely be ourselves, someone who will love us on our good days and – most importantly – on our bad days too. When we find ourselves noticing or even obsessing about their imperfections, we remember to stop, manage our thoughts and reframe them in a positive manner.
Ask yourself, if maybe, just maybe, you are willing, at that moment, to let go of any judgments you are having and allow yourself to be more accepting, loving, kind and compassionate.
Tell them, often, that you love and appreciate them.
Show them you care. It’s the little gestures that mean everything.
Learn to love what they love so you can participate in some of their passions.
Practice vulnerability and share yourself with authenticity and honesty, always with tremendous love, kindness, and generosity.
Remember to find the beauty and perfection in the imperfection.
About the Article
Excerpted From TURN YOUR MATE INTO YOUR SOULMATE by Arielle Ford. Copyright © 2015 by Arielle Ford. Used with permission of HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.
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