When Is Enough, Enough?
by Carl Studna
Enough is an interesting word. Parents and teachers often use it with children when they’re putting their foot down and have reached their tolerance level: ENOUGH ALREADY!! In a completely different context, we’ll often use the word when determining a measurement quota: THAT’S ENOUGH. Throughout our daily lives, we’re always determining (consciously or not) if we’ve slept enough, eaten, loved, been patient, worked enough, and the list goes on.
In our Western culture, largely driven by capitalistic incentive, we’re always striving to do enough and be enough. But, when do we ever feel that enough is enough?
In many Eastern cultures and traditions, you’re taught from an early age that your soul is always perfect, and each incarnation brings greater lessons to learn, while on your path to enlightenment. From this purview, your incentive is sparked due to your quest for greater knowledge and wisdom, and less from an outer need to feel accomplished and gratified.
Eastern culture is largely focused on the good of the whole, while Western traditions place attention first on the individual, then the whole. The upside to capitalism is the breeding of adventure into the unknown, blazing your own trail, and having the freedom to be creative and successful in your own, unique, and gifted way. A benefit of Eastern tradition fosters a greater awareness on how our individual actions affect the entire community. This insight is seriously needed in our current world condition, filled with many symptoms largely caused by our blindness to how our individual actions affect the whole. We’ve become somewhat anesthetized, or numb, to the myriad of devastating conditions in our world, such as climate change, hunger, war, poverty, and disease.
When is enough, enough? When do we speak out as world citizens that we are at the limit of the greed and single focused way of operating? How can we most effectively exercise our rights and be ambassadors for the generations to come? How do we pick ourselves up from feeling discouraged and overwhelmed? Where do we begin?
First and foremost, we must let go of our feelings of blame and resentment and learn to be Spiritual Activists. From a deeper spiritual perspective, we know that placing blame on others continues to foster the divide and not bring us any closer to a resolution. This does not necessarily mean that we not take a strong stance for a cause that is inherently right, such as freedom, and the alleviation of hunger and suffering.
William Ury, a world-renowned negotiator and mediator, states in his book, The Power of a Positive No, “According to the sages in ancient India, there are three fundamental processes at work in the universe: creation, preservation, and transformation. Saying No is essential to all three processes. If you can learn to say No skillfully and wisely, you can create what you want, protect what you value, and change what doesn’t work. These are the three gifts of a positive No.” Ury offers Three Steps to a Positive No:
Uncover your deeper YES
-Deeper Yes: a core interest, need or value
-Express your Yes to the other
-Stay true to your Yes
Deliver a respectful NO
-Don’t reject, offer respect
-Keep your tone neutral and matter-of-fact
-Empower your No with Plan B
Negotiate to a healthy YES
-Healthy Yes: a positive outcome or relationship
-Follow your No with a positive proposal
-Facilitate a wise agreement
Where in your life do you feel disempowered? When have you said Yes, when everything in you needed to say No?
Isn’t it time that we stand together and speak out, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! There’s no better time than the present to begin taking affirmative action. For the next week, devote daily journaling time and contemplate where in your life you’ve settled and said Yes to avoid conflict. Once you have this list, begin to break it down into small action steps on how to revisit each situation and make a different choice that empowers your needs and your values. You’ll notice that as you begin to exercise speaking up for what you truly believe in, you become more skillful and confident.
You are enough. We are enough. There is enough for everyone.
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About the Author
Carl Studna is a world-renowned photographer, inspirational speaker, teacher and award winning author. Carl has taken his message and experiences to print in his book, CLICK! Choosing Love One Frame at a Time. Studna’s innovative work, the LuminEssence Method©, teaches a new paradigm for radiating the light that resides within revealing each person’s authentic gifts.
www.CarlStudna.com
