How To Heal Yourself When No One Else Can

How To Heal Yourself When No One Else Can: Stay In Your Own Chair

by Amy B. Scher 

At 28-years-old, and after years of suffering from medical issues that no doctor across the U.S. could unravel, I was finally given a name to condition that had taken almost my entire life away: late-stage Lyme disease. I took my diagnosis like an oversized bag of groceries at the checkout stand, wrapped my arms around as best I could, and set off to get a cure and get back to life.

But it didn’t work seamlessly. It didn’t work easily. It really didn’t work that way at all.

I tried treatment after treatment trying to save my young life. With some treatments, I saw massive improvement, only later to rebound in ways that deflated me again. But I continued searching with inner chaos, ruled by fear. I feared I was missing the “cure,” not choosing the right treatments, not looking in the right places. I went on marathon internet searches, talked to everyone I could find with Lyme disease, and was in a constant state of panic that my broken body would never be put back together again.

And then I finally stopped. I just stopped. I stopped pointing to symptoms and syndromes, and the perceived external causes of those. I turned within instead. There is a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. How true it is. The information that I discovered was not brand-new, just like many of our “realizations” do not often come from information we’ve never encountered or that isn’t already held within us.

I quickly came to an epiphany: If treating the body alone doesn’t resolve the problem, then maybe the body alone isn’t what caused it.

This was not easy to look at, but it was necessary. I began to gently analyze all the ways in my life that I was not living true to myself. After all, I was the only common denominator in the many challenges – physical and emotional – I’d had in my life. I began to see many patterns and emotions that no longer served me, including my inability to let go and flow with life. The failed attempt to heal by jumping from doctor-to-doctor and treatment-to-treatment gave me an excellent opportunity to dig down within myself and see where all of the not being the true me was coming from.

Fear.

What’s happening over there? What is he doing more of? What am I missing? Why am I not as good as them?

What happens when we do this is we completely lose the plot of our own lives. We lose ourselves.

So instead of focusing on getting rid of symptoms, I began to focus on changing me.

I discovered and created tools to work with my body’s energy system, changing deep-rooted patterns, releasing old emotions, and transforming harmful beliefs that were coloring my life grey. I did not search endlessly for the one fix, but I let my heart guide me to the right path. I did not look for an external cure to fix what was broken in me. I looked for the tools to tend to myself in a loving way.

And with that shift, I healed myself deep down to the core. I did what doctors could not and what treatments could not. I became completely well and stayed that way.

In the end, I discovered the foundation of true wellbeing. It all comes down to this simple rule: You must become who you really are. You must be the real you. That means to love, accept, and be yourself no matter what. You can’t contract your energy for others, or for fear, or for anything else. No light-dimming or living small allowed. This journey of healing is to be yourself. In fact, true healing is not measured by reaching a place where you are free of negative emotions or have even attained a physical healing. I truly believe that straying from and separating from your inner being, or who you really are, is the root of discontent in the mind and body. You are not broken and do not need fixing. You are not wrong and do not need righting. You are not in need of self-help; you are in need of self-love. The only thing you need to do is and yourself, and stay there.

The Universe does not want or need you to do what they are doing. They are already doing it that way. The Universe needs you to do “you.”

It’s only got one shot at making whatever is supposed to come through your individual self, happen.

You are here to live your own story. The Universe has planted it within you and you are the only one capable of being a channel for that energy and expression.

I didn’t need to be who others are. Either do you.

What we need to remind ourselves is that we are always right where we need to be. We have already arrived. We are good enough just by being. No special action is necessary as the rest comes on its own, if we allow it.

We need only to stay focused on ourselves to use that Universe-gifted energy as a force in creating our own lives as we wish.

Last year when I was writing my book, How To Heal Yourself When No One Else Can, I was reminded of the not-enoughness that can easily hijack our lives. I was getting swept away with the impending fear I was forgetting to include something in the book that the reader needed; missing something; lacking in some way. I was sitting at the nail salon for a much needed writing break when what I needed most, hit me.

I found myself looking over at everyone else’s nail color. Maybe I should have gotten pink, I thought. Her pink is pretty. I wonder if it’s too late to change my mind.

Then, on the other side of me, a woman was getting blue. Shoot, I love blue. Why am I getting green?

And suddenly, from somewhere inside of me, I heard a voice that said:

“STAY IN YOUR OWN CHAIR.”

So I did.

I did not look to the left or the right again.

I kept my presence in my own chair to see what would happen. To see how I would feel.

And guess what? I loved my green nails. They were perfect.

They were me.

Those green nails ended up finishing my book without fear or doubt – without wondering if I was missing anything at all.

I wasn’t.

And that’s what I realized has created my success many times before. That’s what I realized had finally helped me heal from the “incurable.”

We have to stay in our own lives, in our own sense of self; in our own chair.

My book is now out and being embraced by the world at a level I could have never expected. And I am totally aware that it’s only changing and touching others in this way because I let it be. I let my words be my words. I let my voice be my voice. I let go of the fears that whispered, “You need more.”

You can’t and won’t accomplish anything at all by searching only all around you. The biggest piece of whatever you are missing from your “cure,” is you.

The only way you can live your true story is by following the demand I heard in that salon:

STAY IN YOUR OWN CHAIR.

The world needs more of your color.

 

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About the Author

Amy B. Scher is an L.A.-based author and leading voice in the field of mind-body-spirit healing. As an energy therapist, Scher uses energy therapy techniques to help those experiencing illness and those in need of emotional healing. She has been featured on healthcare blogs, CNN, Curve magazine, Elephant Journal, and the San Francisco Book Review. Scher was also named one of Advocate’s “40 Under 40” for 2013. Amy has presented to groups such as the Department of Psychiatry at Stanford University and teaches at retreats and conferences nationwide. She can be found online at AmyBScher.com.