The Process of Healing the Wounded Child

Once there was a young man (let’s call him Tommy), who grew up in an average family with busy parents. Parents who didn’t mean to, but were so busy that they didn’t spend much time with their young son. And because of that Tommy was always trying to get their attention. Sometimes by getting good grades, or being the top of his class, and other times by getting awards and special recognition. But his parents would say, “That’s Great Tommy” keep up the good work and they would go their way doing whatever it is they were doing; thus, the little boy always felt alone.

Later in life when Tommy became a man, he was still trying to please people and because of that didn’t always choose the right people to be in his life. In fact he would choose just the opposite kind of people including very narcissistic people who only think of themselves as important and be very unkind to Tommy. And this was all done unconsciously on Tommy’s part, because he was used to not having attention, so he continued to choose people who ignored him. In fact, sometimes they were abusive and even took advantage of his good nature.

And then he got married and again he chose a young lady who would not pay attention to him, and took advantage of his generosity and love. Because of that their marriage ended in divorce. It was not until years later that Tommy started noticing the long line of abusive people he brought into his life,  and understood that he was the one who was directing the creation of all of this.

When we are children our mothers and fathers are the ones who take care of us, fulfill our needs, and are always there for us. For a child parents are like God, parents take care of everything for a child. And when a person’s parent doesn’t give them the attention they need, they learn that in some way they need to do something in order to try to get their parent’s attention. The child tries to please whoever it is they have standing in front of them; they become a people pleaser.

It was only when his unconscious tendencies become conscious, and the pain of not having his parents’ attention was recognized, that Tommy started to choosing different people in his life. It was not easy, he had to recognize his pain and suffering, and admit to his feelings of feeling less than whole, but over time he started to heal the wounded child.

Every one of us has a child within, some are happy healthy children, others are wounded children. And through the course of our lifetime it’s vitally important that we reach a point where we start to heal the wounded child, in order to feel whole once again. Healing the wounded child takes time. It takes recognizing the negative patterns we fall into, so it’s important to take control of our life and actively redirect our life in a whole new way.

Thus once Tommy took control of his life, and started healing the wounds of his childhood, he started bringing loving people into his life. He starting nurturing healthy relationships with people who loved him…for who he was deep down inside.

Then a few years later, the young man got married to a wonderful loving young woman and they ended up having four children. Tommy and his family went on to have many happy years together, and the children were well-adjusted, centered, happy people who prospered and lived wonderful lives…a true story!

So it’s vitally important that we look within, notice the patterns of our lives, and do some soul searching in order to start the process of healing the wounded child within. The process of healing the wounded child also heals the essence of the soul. Happiness starts to thrive in the heart of the wounded child, and feelings of ill will and lack melt away. The wounded child can learn to reconcile the mental image of themselves with the pure, spiritual perfection from which they came.

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About the Author

Dr. Paul Haider is a Spiritual Teacher and Master Herbalist for over 25 years. You can find Dr. Haider on Facebook under Dr. Paul Haider, Healing Herbs, Shambala Spiritual Transformation Institute, at his WordPress Blog “Relax Into Success,” and at www.paulhaider.com. Feel free to contact him anytime.