How to Best Handle Advice for Personal Growth
Handling Advice for Personal Growth
by Vikash Kumar
Everywhere we go, we see so many people offering advice on almost every topic: Do this; don’t do that! Don’t do this! Don’t do that! Behave in this way or that way!
Whether at home or outdoors—including the workplace, entertainment kiosks, or institutions, such as schools, colleges, and temples that are built for this purpose alone—the constant bombardment continues. Some people try to incorporate the advice given to them, but sometimes fail so completely that they then begin to advise others. This triggers a chain reaction that grips every person instantly and insanely so. Ultimately, it resembles a contagious disease.
How Best to Utilize Experience
A person is supposed to follow traffic rules, guidelines for admission into institutions, and other similar rules for smooth functioning of day-to-day life. However, advice should not be followed like a rule. One learns through a combination of free will and experimentation. The joy of an experience is broken if it is interrupted by what someone is telling us should be done. For example, you may be enjoying a beautiful piece of music under the open skies when your parents ask you to come inside the house, lest you catch a cold, or ask you to stop wasting your time and focus on studying instead. Nothing would have been lost in those few moments of ecstasy except the beauty of the experience, which has now been halted.
It is this kind of unsolicited advice that irks the most. The view of the adviser, based on his personal experience, may subsequently cause a negative outlook. The advice is not as much responsible for creating a perception, than the adviser himself. The relevancy of any suggestion, based on experience, is dependent upon the similarity of circumstance.
Often, the ones doling out unsolicited suggestions are people who are actually seeking to improve their own lives; they have utterly failed in the areas on which they comment. For example, a person whose children are completely out of control will often give tips on good parenting; the most selfish and cruel people will talk about philanthropy, religion, and compassion; an uneducated person will stress on the importance of higher education, and so on.
If a person missed a particular aspect in the phase of life, he or she can realize where they went wrong if they apply conscious, rational thinking. However, this is not the case for most people. They try to cover their faults instead, turning it into an ego-fulfilling exercise. So, when a thief extols the virtue of honesty, his advice cannot be trusted and assimilated. Rather, a person’s commentary will be taken more seriously if it is accompanied with with conscious rational thinking. Depending from whom it is coming, unsolicited advice is not always bad. The subtlety of it needs to be understood.
Grasping Unsolicited Advice
The mind grasps faster than the brain. Therefore, you learn more with your perception as the application of rationality comes later. This perception is extremely individualistic, so it is not possible to force understanding. Even if one does work to accept advice, it can only at best be copied, but not assimilated. If another’s perception is imposed, it will undoubtedly irritate you and make you feel uncomfortable. You need time to examine the advice rationally and see its application in your own life.
Man usually lives out of whim and fancies, while taking about being practical. Whenever any word or gesture creates a ripple in this sphere, he feels irritated. Therefore, unsolicited advice definitely may annoy you. Knowing how to best handle comments tactfully can save your energy as well as strengthen your inner being.
Best Practices for Peace of Mind
Learning how to accept advice is the key. Being able to listen to the words without becoming emotionally involved or reacting with irritation is important. Consider the words of advice from the other person when you have time to really think it through. This may be the best advice practice for peace of mind.
Maintaining a positive attitude will also go a long way in handling unwanted advice. One must live life as it comes, relishing each and every moment. Such positivity will help you manage not only unnecessary advice, but also help you take criticism encouragingly. After all, it is your own responsibility to make your life an eternal celebration.
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About the Author
Vikash Kumar is a Mindfulness Coach & SQ Trainer, known as “ForeZorba.” He offers counseling, corporate coaching, meditation & Astro-Numero guidance. He transforms and empowers people with psycho-dynamism, which is more than just advice and talk therapy. A voracious reader and ceaseless thinker, Vikash is an ardent writer who writes for magazines worldwide.
www.mantrawithzorba.com
www.lifepositive.com
