How Steve Harvey Survived Miss Universe
How Steve Harvey Made A Top Mistake and Survived the Miss Universe Pageant
I don’t know why I chose to watch the Miss Universe Pageant on Sunday, December 20th. I usually don’t enjoy those types of shows, but I’m very glad I watched because I was able to see Steve Harvey make his now famous top mistake in announcing the winner of Miss Universe 2015. My happiness has nothing to do with schadenfreude, though, as I take no pleasure in the suffering of others.
The reason why I felt fortunate to witness this incredibly awkward moment was because it illustrated to me an important lesson both in human frailty and in human resilience. It was one of the worst possible things that could go wrong; a horrendous faux pas played out in front of an audience of millions, but then it was followed by a surprising and excellent recovery, which I saw as tremendously reassuring.
When we look at various lists of our top fears, the fear of public speaking is always very close to the top, and it’s because of the underlying fear of making a fool of oneself.
Shame is a major source of anxiety for human beings. The sensation of shame is particularly painful because it includes not only feeling sick and stupid but also small and ridiculous. Public shame is the worst of all, the anguish of being humiliated by making a top mistake in front of our peers or worse, those who we’re hoping to impress, can be excruciating.
Many people avoid speaking in public altogether, for the express purpose of not allowing themselves to be put in a position that might result in their experiencing shame. Many people would rather do just about anything than speaking in public.
So, when Steve Harvey botched the announcement of the winner of Miss Universe, 2015, he realized one of our worst fears: he looked appalling in front of the contestants, his bosses, and millions of people, all around the world.
Steve Harvey did the thing that we all fear when we contemplate speaking in public: he messed up, but then he turned around and surprised us: he recovered.
We can be so anxious about the possibility of looking foolish in public that our thoughts go no further than to the dreaded possibility of public humiliation.
We can’t imagine standing there, as Steve Harvey did, with egg on our face, having demonstrated our ineptitude to the masses, so equally, we wouldn’t have contemplated how we might react if such a situation were to occur. We simply imagine that we’d die, right then and there, or, at least, wish that we were dead.
What Steve Harvey showed us–and why I was so happy to witness his big blunder–was that we can mess up, look foolish, and then we can make things right again.
Steve Harvey showed us that it’s possible for us to fall on our face but then stand up, brush ourselves off, and carry on with our dignity intact. He showed us all-too-human fallibility, but also real class, courage, and resilience.
I was very impressed by the way Steve Harvey handled his error. He owned up to it, apologized for it, explained what happened without being defensive, and even begged the audience not to blame his error on the contestants.
He took responsibility for what had happened, and he did the right thing. He didn’t try to save face, minimize his mistake or laugh it off. He was earnest, humble, and appropriately contrite. He knew he’d messed up, and he did his best to make things right.
That Sunday night, all of us who were watching the Miss Universe pageant collectively cringed as we witnessed Steve Harvey’s mistake; we felt horrible for the young women involved and embarrassed for Steve Harvey.
But then, as I reflected on what I’d just seen, I realized that, although it was an incredibly uncomfortable moment, it was also an enormously valuable lesson for all of us to take in.
I really appreciate the way Steve Harvey handled this situation. In fact, he did millions of people a huge favor. He realized one of our worst fears, in as public a forum as one could imagine. And he didn’t die. His head didn’t explode. He didn’t run off the stage and commit ritual suicide.
No, Steve Harvey messed up, owned up, corrected the situation and survived. And he demonstrated to all of us that we too, can mess up and survive if we’re willing to do the right thing, as he did.
So, Steve Harvey, thank-you. I know you weren’t planning on being such an excellent role-model, but as is often the case when things go sideways, amazing surprises can happen. Fabulous choices can be made and powerful lessons can be learned.
The next time I get up on a stage somewhere and I’m about to give a talk, I’ll remember Steve Harvey and the Miss Universe 2015 pageant. I’ll remember that the worst happened and nobody died. I’ll take a deep breath and remind myself that if he could mess up in front of millions of people and survive, I really have nothing to worry about, after all.
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About the Author
Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist, that does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter. Listen here to her latest podcast. marciasirotamd.com
