Love and Marriage: Commit and Mean It

by Mishi McCoy

Overcoming Self-Centered Egos in Marriage

In marriage, the startling adaptability that some people have to be so cruelly self-centered sends a chill through my naturally warm heart. I have come to observe that people such as these are blinded by their own darkness, yet believe they are the light in which any man or woman would be so fortunate to spend their lives with. I propose that there are those whom seek to be loved yet remain completely satisfied, comfortable and ignorant to the fact that they, themselves are incapable of giving the exhausting love in which they demand or desire.

Have we recently arrived in an age where people are completely obliviously to the need of following the infallible internal guide concerning matters of the heart or has this been going on since the beginning of time? In regards to love and time, I realize that there are as many degrees of love as there are moments in time, but I must insist that the time to adjust the scales of love has arrived. If we are to stand a snowballs chance in hell of this generation and generations to come knowing the holiness of two sacred souls uniting in cobalt blue rays of eternal love, then love must be reevaluated, refined and redefined.

Too often, we grievously discover that the person we have set our affections upon was nothing more than a creature and figment of our imagination. Why is it that we are so apt to dwell on a person who is a stranger to us? Is it because we are so desperate to be in relationship that we do not take the time to get to know them? We do not spend the time and invest the opportunities for experiences to provide ourselves the sacred security of lasting love. Is it not something we feel we can afford? Is there not a higher price to pay in these relationships if we aren’t willing to ensure that who we are as a precious being is aligning ourselves with another, a partner that has as much value as we do? Even more importantly, is this potential partner as committed as we are?

I am often ask by couples to officiate their wedding ceremonies. I am always honored and willing to be part of such a holy union. The thing is, when I begin to ask the questions that I feel are important in the union of this holy contract, it is very seldom that I witness the sincerity or certainty of both individuals that I am counseling. I have come to the ultimate decision of my heart’s conscience that if one or both parties desiring to enter marriage do not possess the requirements of pure passionate potential then I decline, but not regretfully so.

‘Tis a sad and grueling process to devote yourself to someone only to discover that you never truly knew the person as you thought you did. Even more sad, after any given length of time, to find out the hard way that promises are easier made than kept, hearts are easier broken than mended, and shattered trust will cause you to never want to know the real person you thought you knew and loved to begin with.

Jaded and jilted are simply not the happy ever afters that we are truly desiring. Microwave relationships have little to no nutritional value where matters of the heart, soul and spirit are concerned. Love is like fine wine. Give it time. Taste to see if it is good. Taste to see if it truly has the ability to intoxicate you beyond a few years of one night stands. True love in marriage will stand the tests of time. It is not time wasted, but time invested that yields the greatest quality of relationship. Even greater, it yields the security of quantity of affordable time. Time well spent is time well rewarded. You are worth the wait.

There are marriages that lack commitment. The goal is commitment. Two people committed and meaning it are two souls that shall indeed become One. That’s my nickel’s worth of wisdom. I believe it to be a shiny nickel’s worth.

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About the Author

Mishi McCoy in an Intuitive, Metaphysical Counselor, Author, Minister, Speaker and Modern Day Mystic who facilitates personal growth, health, and spiritual wellness. As a pragmatic yet visionary author and spiritual facilitator, her passion is the Body, Mind & Spirit connection. In 2011, Mishi authored a book of memoirs, The Lovely Knowing, available on Amazon.com.