Boundaries – Where Do You Draw the Line?
by Michelle Butt
Countries have them and defend them fiercely. Basketball courts and soccer fields have them and they are fully respected and enforced. Banks, homes, and even parking lots have them. Yet so often, these are what we, as human beings, struggle with the most: boundaries.
Yes, boundaries are relatively easy to define and hold physically, yet so much more difficult to define and hold personally. Now, are we as vehement and intentional with our own personal boundaries?
Can We Look at Someone and Tell Their Boundaries?
Face reading says, “yes and no….” There are those who are natural-born boundary setters and keepers, and those who are not.
If you are someone who has a clearly defined jaw, strong, thick eyebrows and/or indented temples, you will most likely be a great boundary setter. You will most likely have routines in place that don’t change; you respect time and you are very aware of the rules. You draw personal boundaries in permanent marker. Once you make a decision, you stick with it and rarely can someone else erase that line.
Intention and Order with Boundaries
The intention behind the permanence of the boundaries set by people with such facial features is to maintain order. These people are those who have a strong sense of right and wrong. Thus, they are strong in their convictions and decision-making ability. They are not easily persuaded to change their minds, so they don’t need to consider changing their boundaries. In face reading, we describe people with these features as being the Warrior archetype. They will be your disciplined athletes and soldiers who defend the physical borders. Why they are so good at it is because they have an innate ability to set, and hold their own personal boundaries.
Facial Features Give Strong Indications
People with strong prominent noses, prominent upper cheeks, fine bone structure and high eyebrows are also good boundary holders and setters. However, their motivation is completely different from that of the Warrior described above.
People with these features, those of the Royal archetype, draw their personal boundaries in permanent marker too. But unlike the Warrior, they appear aloof and sometimes even obsessive-compulsive, not necessarily as disciplined and strategic. This is because they are highly sensitive to the energy around them. They draw strong lines to keep themselves from becoming overwhelmed by the energy of the environment they are in.
Royals will be the ones standing in the corner of a cocktail party with a lot of space between them and the rest of the guests. We may mistakenly see them as unwelcoming. They choose to put distance between themselves and the energy of the others, in order to feel comfortable enough to be there. Although they write boundaries in permanent ink, they can and will open a door to let others in. Once they have acclimatized to the energy of their surroundings, they can be quite engaging.
Open-Hearted Features May Mean Softer Boundaries
There are also those whose faces say that they are not good natural boundary holders. For example, if someone has red hair, sparkly eyes, dimples and/or freckles, it can be much harder for these people to hold boundaries.
Open-hearted is their innate nature. These are the charmers and performers. They love to engage with others. Their core emotion is love and their core desire is connection. They draw personal boundaries in pencil, and even more often, others hold the eraser.
We describe these people as the Captivator archetype. Captivators can often be unaware that their boundary is moved until it’s too late. Very much like the Royal, Captivators are highly sensitive. They are empathic rather than environmentally sensitive. This means that they can unconsciously sense the emotions of those around them. Because they are so open hearted and connection oriented, they draw to those with strong emotional energy, either negative or positive. In being in their presence, the Captivator becomes an emotional energy sponge.
Importance of Setting Empathic Boundaries
It is very important that Captivators learn to translate the principles of setting boundaries in the physical world to their own personal world. For the unprotected Captivator, the consequence of not learning to set healthy boundaries, over time can cause excessive empathic overwhelming. They become jaded or overly guarded and put up a personal boundary equivalent to the Berlin Wall. Isolating themselves this way from real connection is so against their nature, and just as devastating as being too open.
The beauty of faces is that they tell us what kind of boundaries we are innately programmed to set and why. Faces teach us how to understand ourselves on such a deep level. We can learn how to create the healthiest boundaries for our own, individual beings. Set boundaries with intention and foresight, maximizing our ability to connect with others in a meaningful way. Mindful boundaries also honor our own unique needs for personal identity and protection.
About the Author
Michelle Butt, Facial Intelligence ExpertTM and Master Coach, helps people reach a deep and profound understanding of themselves and their relationships. Facial IntelligenceTM unlocks the treasure of insights that our faces hold. With a new level of awareness, Michelle guides her clients to achieve the joyful, fulfilling, successful lives they desire. She is also a Chinese Face Reading Practitioner, Nine Star Ki Energy Interpreter, and Hypnotist. www.michellebutt.com
