Four Ingredients of Self-Kindness
by Anita Parker
Overall, humans are a kind species. We really are. It’s in our nature to care about those in our lives and those less fortunate in all corners of the planet. We give the shirt off our backs for the betterment of our community, and our hearts sink at the world’s injustices.
Despite this, we are shockingly unkind to ourselves. Not just a little bit unfriendly, but downright nasty.
Foremost, we fuel our bodies with saturated fat and refined sugar, omitting important nutrients and calorie-free hydration. We slouch and compress our skeletons in chairs, vehicles, and sofas for most of our waking hours. At least once daily we brazenly tell our reflection in the mirror how unattractive and unsuccessful we are. We pack our schedules with minute-by-minute commitments and deprive ourselves of much-needed sleep until we’re on the brink of delirium.
It sounds terrible, and it is terrible.
So why are we so kind to everyone but ourselves? Self-kindness is a different variety of kindness. It’s the type that’s not instinctive and requires ongoing purposeful effort. We need to realize that being kind to ourselves is actually showing kindness to others because it enables us to offer the best version of ourselves to the world.
The Ingredients of Self-kindness
Self-kindness doesn’t happen on its own, but it is definitely something we can strive for and accomplish. The four ingredients of achieving self-kindness are about nourishing different aspects of our lives.
Ingredient #1: Nourish your body.
You know what that means. Intake optimum fuel and hydration, because that’s what your body needs and deserves. Burn fuel and stay strong with regular exercise that is fun and realistic. Replenish your tissues head to toe with eight hours of sleep every night. This is very in-a-nutshell, so seek help from experts, such as a personal trainer and dietitian, to help you out. You’re worth the investment.
Ingredient #2: Nourish your psyche.
Your emotional wellness is just as important as your heart, lungs, and muscles. Get rid of every syllable of negative self-talk and practice gratitude instead. Did you know that it is biologically impossible to be grateful for something and feel sorry for yourself at exactly the same time? Stop keeping a mentally tally of all things wrong in your life, and get going on an action plan to make things better. If you feel your mental health needs a more substantial boost, speak with your healthcare provider, seek to counsel, and create a support network. Again, you’re worth the investment.
Ingredient #3: Nourish your intellect.
Like any good working muscle, our brain needs a lifetime of stimulation to stay healthy and dexterous. (Your brain isn’t actually a muscle, but the analogy still applies.) Hang out at the library. Keep a journal. Take a course online or in a classroom. Seek and enjoy good conversation face-to-face or on a real telephone. Keep up on current events and form educated, thoughtful opinions. Discover and pursue your passions. Sing. Solve puzzles and mind-stimulating games.
Ingredient #4: Nourish your surroundings.
Clean, de-clutter, and organize your home and other spaces where you spend your time. Make them bright yet cozy and a reflection of who you are. Surround yourself with things that make you happy for no other reason than they make you happy. This includes inanimate objects such as candles, stylish cushions, or children’s artwork, but it also includes people… rid your physical spaces of ill-disposed people.
You matter and are worthy of receiving kindness from others and from yourself. In fact, a daily dose of self-kindness is mandatory for you to carry on your giving of kindness to others. Self-nastiness will leave your kindness bucket empty. The universe is a collective whole of positive and negative energy. What you send into the universe is what the universe reflects back. Send out a message of “I am worthy of being treated nicely”, and that’s exactly what you’ll get back on your doorstep. And vice versa.
About the Author
Anita Parker is the author of Fitness Matters Blog http://www.fitnessmattersblog.com, and creator of Transform by moveBALL, 30-day fitness challenge http://www.transformfitnesschallenge.com.
