Changing at Point Easy or Point Crisis?
by Crystal Presence
Guided Change Can Really Make a Difference
Change is part of life. Our environment, bodies, feelings, thoughts and behaviors and are always in a process of change. The question is how much power do we have to guide that change? Can we make the change at the point where change is easy or do we need to go to the point of crisis to make the change?
People have a reputation for ignoring, denying and procrastinating when it comes to making change. Rather than addressing issues head on and coming to a quick and easy resolution, we often ignore our issues, dismiss our thoughts, suppress our feelings and justify our behaviors. Eventually the denial builds up and explodes in the form of a crisis where we are forced to feel, express and address what we have been avoiding.
A simple example is, instead of listening and responding to our anger (the natural signal alerting us to the fact that we want a change), we stub our toe. Now we have a darn good reason to feel angry, yell and demand a change!
Problems with Choosing at Point Crisis
The habit of choosing at point crisis is reflected to us in some of the following ways…
Nuclear bombs. A container of compressed energy ready to explode in a reactive moment of repressed anger about the changes we want.
Environmental pollution. A result of not addressing and cleaning up the issues we have within ourselves.
War. The struggle, pain and conflict going on inside ourselves we take into our relationships, families, communities and the world.
People in crisis often say… “Why didn’t I listen, I knew this was going to happen!?” “If only I had fixed it right away!”
Common Beliefs Perpetuating Change at Point Crisis
The question is whether we want to change at point easy or at point crisis? If deep inside we know we are lying to ourselves, why do we secretly hold back until crisis? The following are some of the common beliefs that perpetuate change at point crisis:
Crisis is an unavoidable part of life.
Relationships are hard and disappointing in nature, so it is best to ignore and go along with things to make it easier.
Change is hard and painful so better to stick with the status quo.
The Switch to Making Change at Point Easy
The following are some ways we can make a change at point easy…
(1) Focusing on our potential rather than on our problems.
(2) Creating moments of discomfort. Dr. Marcia Reynolds, well known organizational coach and author of The Discomfort Zone, says moments of uncertainty can disrupt our habitual brain patterns and open us to new ways of looking at things and making change. Observing ourselves with curiosity and calling upon others can facilitate this process.
A simple example is Mary who had been complaining and whining about the people in her life. A trusted friend suddenly said, “Do you think anyone will ever be good enough for you?”
Mary was stunned by the question and had some moments of nervous laughter until a new insight about herself emerged. Mary’s friend stayed present with her to help her stabilize as her defenses broke down, allowing her brain to reorganize and make sense of what was happening. Soon she was able see new possibilities for making change.
Engage in Different Modalities of Movement
Diamond and River Jameson, creators of the Total Integration Institute, have been pioneers in making deep and sustainable change at point easy. They use dancing, expression of feelings and other modalities of movement and as quick and easy way to release contraction and other addictive ways of holding back.
A simple example: Justin was lonely and depressed. He was having a hard time making change in his life. He started dancing, vibrating and safely expressing his feelings. Suddenly he realized how he had been judging and rejecting himself in many ways. Opening with movement created the space to change his perspective and experience himself an inspiring catalyst for change in the world.
Loving ourselves no matter what the evidence.
Embracing any holding back we are doing, letting go of trying to figure it out and allowing our loving source to gently guide us in the changes that we want.
Embracing our fear.
Understanding that fear is a signal to slow down, get present and let go of pushing and proceed when we are ready and willing to make the change.
Asking powerful questions.
To the power of making change at point easy, we can ask ourselves questions such as, “What is the nature of experiencing change as a natural, fun and empowering part of my life?
About the Author
Crystal is a coach, author and facilitator of a whole being wellness event called “Freedom at the Core”. For the past 35 years, Crystal’s passion has been creating a safe, fun and nurturing space for people to discover what stands between holding back and the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual freedom that is always available to them.
http://www.CrystalPresenceOnline.com
www.facebook.com/crystalpresence
