Kyle Cease – “I Hope I Screw This Up”

Now, here’s the thing. That really excited feeling includes a lot of amazing specific things that you can’t see that it’s trying to give you. And your job is to follow the feeling and prove to yourself that you’re in the alignment and ready for the magic that’s going to happen by stepping into it.

So, in other words, if you’re in a relationship that you’re not happy with, you are only saying to yourself, “I’m holding onto this because I don’t believe that I’m safe.” It’s not until I let go of this that I prove to myself that I’m safe. But, if you’re holding onto something that doesn’t feel good, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not safe,” and life throws you as many problems as possible because you’re saying to yourself, “I’m out of my alignment.”

And so, when we said yes to the theater and then the radio show, they said, “Okay, yeah. We’ll put you in the air, and we’ll fill the room for you.” The 200-seat theater that we went after took too long to get back to us.

So, I took that as a red light from the universe on that specific theater, and we found another theater that was 1,400 seats that were way, way, way cheaper and said, “We’ll do it.” And so, for very cheap, we got this theater, and immediately 1,000 seats were already filled. So, our job suddenly became to fill 400 more seats. And here’s the most ironic thing. It was so much easier to fill a giant theater than a small one because we were so excited about it.

And it was easier and faster to fill the 400 seats left than it was to fill the 200 seats before because we were so passionate.

 

Victor Fuhrman: What you’re describing to me is intuitive and natural and spiritual marketing.

Kyle Cease: Well, it’s so funny how much people go to learn to market, and they learn to do all these things. But, what we don’t understand is, when we step into our highest excitement, it will market itself. It will make a video that suddenly gets 100 million views and fill the room naturally on its own.

You talk from a passion that’s so high that you talk from your heart, and the people listening have to bypass their own fear and go to their heart to hear you. And, when anyone hears you speak from your heart and they go into their heart, they immediately want to co-create with you or work with you because the highest asset we have is our connection to ourselves. People think the highest asset they have is money.

But, the highest connection you have with yourself can help you make more money, which doesn’t matter anyway. But, you also lose a ton of money spending on addictions and stuff because you’re in your element, and you’re the highest thing you have is your highest excitement at the moment. And, when you’re in that, you don’t need a bunch of addictions. You don’t need to keep holding onto things that don’t sustain you or fulfill you.

 

Victor Fuhrman: You know, you’re talking about true authenticity. And in I Hope I Screw This Up, you mention that we need to be truly authentic with one another. Where does that inauthenticity gene come from?

Kyle Cease: I think we’ve trained ourselves that we’re always in a place of lack. So, we need to say whatever we need to say to get something. And very few people actually say the thing they’re thinking, and they don’t understand that, if they said that, they would open so many more doors for themselves in life.

So, for instance, if I got on an elevator, and a woman I’m really attracted to walks on the elevator, immediately what we think is, “I’m trying to think of something to say to this person.” Now, what if you looked at the person and just said, “I’m trying to think of something to say to you.”

That’s the truth. That’s so open and authentic. Now, some women might not like that.

They might leave. Well, good. I’m glad you said your truth so that you’ll only create a space to align with the right people that align with your truth.

Most of us don’t say the thing we’re thinking. We instead say what we think people want to hear.

 

Victor Fuhrman: Does that come from our addiction to receiving approval from others?

Kyle Cease: I think it comes from the illusion that we’re not loved as is. I spent a lot of last years–I sat every morning for about two hours a day and just sat with my eyes closed. So, I don’t even like to call it meditation.

I just sat and listened to my mind go crazy and come up with all these different thoughts. And I just became the space for those thoughts, and I realized that all those fear based thoughts were lies. I’m the one that’s the space of love that’s looking at those thoughts.

And when I really learned that, I started to realize that I’m not in lack without anything and that I’m complete. From that place, I was able to speak so much more authentically and create a space for much more authentic people to show up in my life who also did that kind of work.

And so, if you don’t do that work, you’re under the constant illusion that you’re in a place of lack, which makes everything outside of you just an addition to fill that false hole that you think you have.

We’ve created a bunch of friends that, when we get near them, we talk about our problems more than our possibilities. I mean, in a general sense.

It’s scary. But, we don’t understand there’s a whole other group of friends also that want to support you in your power, that support you in your greatness, that will say thank you. In fact, many of the reasons why you think you can’t step into your greatness are, in my opinion, the reason that we have to.

So, for instance, if you’re like, “I really want to give my gift and go to that island and go write my book. But, I have a kid.” To me, that’s all the more reason to step into your power and show your child that they can be invincible and powerful and infinite too.

I don’t know what the universe or God necessarily specifically is on that level. But, I always thought that you could see the creative universe as a human being, and you could see that it’s physically abandoning you every time you come up with why you can’t do something, your fear of abandonment would suddenly make you infinite.

 

Victor Fuhrman: In your book, you say that addictions are the vices we use to keep us from connecting with our true selves or souls.

Kyle Cease: I believe very much that it’s normal to see alcoholism, drugs, overeating as an addiction. We have commercials for that. If you–parents who use drugs have kids who use kids.

This is your brain on scrambled or whatever the commercial was. And then, we don’t realize that there are other addictions. Controlling people is an addiction.

Worrying is an addiction. Stopping–just coming up with why things aren’t possible is an addiction. And the reason is that it’s also just anything that stops you from connecting to the infinite flow of what you are. And I really believe, on a then core level, that we’re not even addicted to things. What we’re addicted to is thinking, being in the past and the future. And we’re addicted to that because we’re ignoring our calling.

So, if you hear a calling in your body that says, “Go do this thing,” and you ignore it, now your mind has to make sense of why you’re not doing it. I have a rule with myself that, if I’m justifying why I’m keeping something, then it’s not my highest thing.

 

Victor Fuhrman: I’ve got to say, your book is not only inspiring, but it’s really funny. And it’s truly a fearless reflection of your mind that’s like a stream of consciousness. Did anyone try to talk you out of that style?

Kyle Cease: I don’t think so. I think people really liked that I was saying that. I don’t believe that me coming across as–I don’t believe in being a guru.

So, I think that it’s our job to present our problems too and our challenges and remind people that we’re all–we all have these things and not try to be someone that has the answers that I’m looking for them as I go. But, I think the first thing to say is that I was totally freaking out when I wrote chapter one, and I delayed it for three years. And I kept trying to start over, and I kept thinking, “Oh, if I brought a friend and if I do it over here” –so, finally, the beginning of chapter one, my truth was, “I’m scared to death.”

So, I just started telling them that, and that started freeing me. And no one just says the thing they’re thinking. If you’re nervous, say you’re nervous.

The audience goes, “I know what nervous feels like, and I can connect with you.” So, it’s just so much easier than we think it is. And, instead of trying to write the right book to get sales, I just shared exactly what I was thinking and wrote it like it was a diary.

 

Victor Fuhrman: Authentic, real, and funny. It’s called, I Hope I Screw This Up: How Falling in Love with Your Fears Can Change the World. Kyle Cease, please tell our about you’re “Evolving Out Loud” presentations that are coming up.

Kyle Cease: Yes, they can get it anywhere because I’m thrilled to say it’s doing really well. So, they can get it at Amazon. They can go to Barnes and Noble.

They can get it at any bookstore, and you can also go to KyleCease.com. So, KyleCease.com/book, and you can see a two-hour concert film like a movie for free.

If you buy the book, you can type the order number into the website, and we give you instantly a two-hour movie from my talks with my shifting someone who hadn’t been in a relationship for years and all these different things. So, they can go there.

And then, “Evolving Out Loud” is our event where we go on tour all the time. We’re going to be in New York, Milwaukee, Austin, Seattle, LA, everywhere. It’s all over the place.