Facing The Myth of Self-Worth

We will always struggle with the concept of self-worth as long as we let others define what is worthy.

Face and Break Through the Myth of Self-Worth

by Andrea Mathews

Many, if not most of us, are spending our lives seeking the sense of self-worth that we are promised. The time when we finally become “good enough” in whatever way we see “good enough.” From infancy, we’ve been taught that there is a “good enough.”  There is someplace, some psychic place, some happy place, some invisible but specific place out there somewhere in the future where we will finally feel that sense of worthiness that generates self-confidence and self-esteem.  And we will know that we have arrived because we will see that we are good enough to have that self-confidence and self-esteem.

Until then, however, we are stuck with this sense that no matter how hard we try we can’t ever quite reach “good enough.”  It remains out there somewhere.  So we bargain with ourselves.

“If I can earn a certain amount of money, then I will finally be good enough.”

“If I can have that relationship, then I will finally be good enough.”

“If I can get that perfect job, with the perfect mission, then I will finally be good enough.”

“If I can find my purpose in life, then I will do it, and I will finally be good enough.”

We strive and wait and, wait and strive, but no matter what we do, no matter how much money we earn, regardless if the Universe drops millions of dollars into our laps, we still have this nagging sense that we are just not quite good enough.

Often this is accompanied by a feeling that we should not have what others lack.  Why do I deserve this house, this car, this relationship, this money when there are so many people on earth who do not have any of those things?  That feeling, that question makes us feel all the more unworthy, for to believe we deserve those things, is to be arrogant, right?

But all of this, ALL of this is based on the mythology that there is some worthiness that we must earn.  And all of that is found in the paradigm of duality.  Duality says that we are separate from each other and the divine and that separation is a result of our fundamentally evil natures.  That mythology has spread so far and wide and, is grounded so deep in the archetypal memories that we seem to know it is true—even though it is entirely false.

The truth is that there is no such separation. We are One with each other and One with the divine and, because we don’t know it, we act in ways that match what we believe to be true; the belief that we have an evil nature.  Then we begin to measure our worth based on our behaviors.  But this myth is disproven by the simple fact that no matter how many good deeds we do, no matter how many sacrifices we make, no matter what we do we still feel that we must continue to chase that elusive sense of self-worth.

But we are automatically worthy, based merely on the fact that we exist.  We are worthy because we were made worthy.  We do not have anything to prove.  The gifts that are given to us in life are because we were meant to have those things.  The losses that we experience don’t happen because we deserve them.  They happen because a loss is a part of the experience of duality, which we are all experiencing as a part of the earth experience.  But as we come to know that we are One with the divine, and One with each other and all of nature, we no longer live into the duality experience. Instead, we begin to see with the correct vision of Oneness.  At that point, we no longer ask if we are worthy.  We no longer seek after that elusive sense of self-worth, we live in the gratitude that comes with knowing that all that we have is a gift from the divine.

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About the Author

Andrea Mathews is a Psychotherapist, speaker, host of Authentic Living Radio show, and author of  “Letting Go of Good: Dispel the Myth of Goodness to Find Your Genuine Self.” Inhabiting Heaven NOW: The Answer to Every Moral Dilemma Ever Posed,” “The Law Of Attraction: The Soul’s Answer To Why It Isn’t Working And How It Can,” and “Restoring My Soul: A Workbook For Finding And Living The Authentic Self.” www.andreamathews.com