Nick Ortner – My Magic Breath
What we do with tapping is create a safe space to acknowledge that this is the truth of how we feel. And that, by itself, is a healing process.
Sandie Sedgbeer: At what point did you start thinking about teaching this to children? I mean, I know you’ve got an incredible video online that’s had over 44 million views of children in schools practicing. But, did that come before your books or after your books for children?
Nick Ortner: It came after. So, it probably arose out of having kids. My younger brother, Alex, has used tapping with his three kids. He wrote our book Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs, which is another kids’ book that is specifically for tapping, after his experiences with his two sons and daughter. The other thing that’s been happening for me personally especially over the last couple years is that I really feel my role in spreading the tapping message is to take something that can be a little esoteric, something that, though it might be normal for those interested in personal development and self-help, but is not necessarily the way most of the world operates, and say, ‘How can I take these tools and concepts and translate them for a lay audience.
And that has evolved in the last couple years as I’ve been thinking about what we can do with children, making it easier to get it into schools and do it with kids. It certainly takes some adjustment. In working with teachers and schools in the past, sometimes the approach would be, ‘Well, this is the process that you do with the kids.’ And, yes, we need to explore the trauma that the kids may be facing at home and their deeper psychological issues, the teacher would often say that the space they have to do anything outside of the curriculum is five minutes. And I’d think, Okay, what can we do that is at least a step in the right direction, that isn’t going to fix every problem every problem these kids have, but at least begins to open a door? So that’s where we started working.
And that same kind of thinking applies to my latest book, My Magic Breath, which isn’t about tapping. It’s simple, it’s directed, it’s a couple breaths lightly taken at night or in the morning, at the start of a class, it’s opening a door. Those couple of breaths aren’t going to be the answer to a seven-year-old child’s deeper psychological issues, but they could be a step in that direction.
Sandie Sedgbeer: How do you get the children to be interested in being mindful, in thinking about their breath and practicing tapping?
Nick Ortner: I know it’s a self-serving answer, but the books are created for exactly that reason, because it is tough for a parent to say ‘Let’s do this, let me teach you this.’ It’s so much easier to say ‘Let’s read a story,’ right? ‘Let’s read about these kids and the challenges they had. In Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs my brother ingeniously developed all the points into animals, so they have the lion cry point and the dragon fire point and the wolf chin point. I’ve actually found adults tell me that they remember the points better now because they have the animals, so it’s not just for kids.
It’s the same thing with My Magic Breath: let’s take a couple breaths and blow it out on the page and smile, making it interactive, fun and different.
The other side in terms of teaching kids is just being that example yourself. Time and again, I’ve heard parents say, ‘I tried to get my kid to do this, they wouldn’t do it, they pushed it away, but then I started using it,’ and two things happened: one, they started releasing the stress, so they interacted and acted differently with their children in a healthier, more positive way, and, two: their kids saw them doing it, and they were curious. It wasn’t something that was pushed on them; it was like ‘Oh, what’s that thing mommy is doing, let me try it, too.’
So, take the passive approach, whether it be the books or doing it yourself, let them come to you. Don’t think, Okay, I’ve got to do this because I’ve got to fix them.
Sandie Sedgbeer: The other nice thing about My Magic Breath is it also encourages the parents to be mindful as they’re trying to teach the child.
Nick Ortner: Indeed.
Sandie Sedgbeer: Nick Ortner, let’s talk a little bit more about My Magic Breath. One of the things that I love about My Magic Breath is that it’s not only beautifully illustrated, very colorful, very bright and attractive, but it also addresses the fact and brings home to parents that even small children can suffer stress and anxiety.
Nick Ortner: Yeah. That is such a big component. I think as adults, we tend to think¾and I understand the instinct¾what could kids possibly be stressed about? Right? Like, they get fed, they don’t have anything to do, if they’re younger they don’t really have homework or pressure for grades in schools, and they don’t have to hold down a job and so on. But, the reality is they’re navigating life just like we are, and they’re navigating things that, sadly, even a lot of adults haven’t mastered, but it’s brand new to kids, like how to regulate emotions, how to interact with people, how to get what you want in the world and push away what you don’t want.
So kids absolutely are stressed. And then the other component¾and not to pile on the guilt and shame but I think it’s important for parents to recognize this¾kids feel their parents’ stress or any adult caregiver’s stress in huge ways. We all do. We all pick up on other people’s energy and emotions, but kids are so open and so vulnerable. So, if mom or dad are coming home stressed and anxious, even if they’re putting on a smile on their face or thinking that they’re not showing the stress, they are, and the kids pick up on it.
That’s why My Magic Breath is an opportunity, especially before bedtime. That’s one of my favorite times of the day when I sit with my daughter June and read stories and just relax and breathe; bringing this extra moment of mindfulness during that time is so valuable.
The book just came out a few months ago and I’ve heard from parents that their kids are opening up to them in ways that they weren’t before. They’re telling me that when they do the breathing and think the sad thought and then blow it away, their child relaxes and they start sharing what’s going on. .
And I’ve heard the same stories with tapping; finding the space to take a couple deep breaths, let go of what we picked up during the day, process our emotions. Then we can talk about it, we can communicate, we can make decisions, and we can move from that safe place.
Sandie Sedgbeer: Everybody’s teaching social and emotional learning these days, and My Magic Breath is a wonderful book for kindergarten teachers to read to the children at story time, to gently open up the door, as you say, for children to begin to talk about their emotions and what they can do with those emotions when they’re getting out of hand.
Nick Ortner: Absolutely. And the reason the book is called My Magic Breath is so that instead of having to say ‘Remember to take a deep breath,’ or ‘use deep breathing,’ you can just say ‘use your magic breath,’ and the kids know exactly what that means.
Sandie Sedgbeer: You’ve said that your life’s work is to help fellow seekers, those searching for a better life and those looking to create a better world in finding paths to self-healing and self-realization. What is it that inspires you and keeps you going?
Nick Ortner: Oh. You know, I see the potential in simple practices, because if we look at tapping and at mindfulness and breathing, they’re not complicated practices. They’re not ones that require decades of study to gain results. I think that communication is everything, and I think that’s the component that is missing. So, I’m inspired by finding ways to communicate this message and these concepts and ideas to the world at large. These practices that existed, they’re out there, they’re available. The question is how do we get people to use them, how do we, in essence, market self-help to them, market mindfulness to them. It sounds funny, but we’ve got to do a better job of marketing mindfulness.
Continue to Page 3 of the Interview with Nick Ortner
