Erich Fromm – Lessons On The Art of Love
Erich Fromm a renown psychotherapist, humanitarian and modern philosopher, through his book “The Art of Loving,” has left us a boundless source of inspiration on how to recognize and cultivate real love.
Lessons On “The Art of Love” by Erich Fromm
As an author and Philosopher, Erich Fromm considered love as an art, as a divine feeling that we all have the potential to generate but that would require care to be nurtured and maintained.
Erich Fromm’s reflections on love are relatively well known and from these observations were derived essential questions such as: “What does it mean to love?” “How can we keep this feeling”? ” Is Love something fleeting”?
The careful study of the love by the humanist & philosopher Erich Fromm stands out for its great wisdom. Understanding love as an art, he arranged a list of suggestions that can be learned and of needs to be cultivated and cared for the process of assimilating how to truly love.
“The first step is to become aware that love is an art, just as life is an art. If we want to learn to love, we should proceed in the same way as if we were to learn any other art, such as music, painting, carpentry or medicine and engineering.” ~ Erich Fromm
Using love to escape loneliness
When we use “love” just as an excuse to escape loneliness or our even other problems, we are doomed to destroy it. If we apply this feeling as a refuge for challenges we can’t endure in our lives, we will be running away from ourselves.
“Love as mutual sexual satisfaction, as teamwork and as a refuge from loneliness, are normal forms of the disintegration of love in contemporary Western society, It is the pathology of socially determined love.” ~ Erich Fromm
This way of loving becomes something neurotic since it does not promote our personal development. We do not listen to ourselves, and we expect the other to take responsibility for what we are not able to accomplish.
In this way, the shadows and projections may arise; we see in the other what we do not support in ourselves. It is a childish way of not wanting to take responsibility for our own lives, and all that it entails. When we convert love into a tool, an instrument of escape and manipulation, we lose our ability to love and the honesty to relate to each other.
The active energy of love
Love is a limitless surplus energy that we have at our disposal even after we satisfy all our basic needs. Erich Fromm believed that this energy cannot become stagnant. It is not enough to feel, it is necessary to mobilize and to live, and this is only possible when one decides to actively be taking care and feeding this love.
There are specific difficulties in a relationship that are inevitable and even necessary, and everyone knows that. But there are some obstacles that cause negative emotions we must deal with. It is required to work these emotions that we experience and to understand that the ruptures arise from something that we do not pay attention to. Emotions are our most intimate and personal language, they help us to relate more honestly.
“Love is a constant challenge. It is not a place of rest, but a place of movement, growth, of working together; that there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, they are secondary to the fundamental fact that two beings are experiencing from the very essence of their existence, that they are committed to the relationship and are not together to flee from themselves. ” ~ Erich Fromm
Finally, from this reflection, we realize the importance of the fact that two people relate from their own essence. Through deep knowledge of themselves, the couple will be able to build a solid foundation on which their love can evolve. To love only to escape from oneself is a mistake hence it is not possible to have a healthy and reciprocal encounter when we can’t be responsible for our own experiences and limitations.
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About Erich Fromm
Erich Fromm, (born March 23, 1900, Frankfurt am Main, Germany—died March 18, 1980, Muralto, Switzerland), German-born American psychoanalyst and social philosopher who explored the interaction between psychology and society. By applying psychoanalytic principles to the remedy of cultural ills, Fromm believed, mankind could develop a psychologically balanced “sane society.” (from Brittanica.com)
About the Author
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