Moving Forward With Grace After a Breakup
Are you going through the pain of a relationship breakup and don’t know how to move forward?
How to Move Forward After a Breakup
by Susan Schueler
As a psychic medium, I help clients work through many different challenges that occur in their lives, but the one most addressed is the loss of a relationship. Whether the breakup is expected, or it blindsides a person on a Sunday morning, the results are the same. There are few things as painful as losing someone who has been trusted, loved, and vulnerable with; especially if there are betrayal and deception that comes to light during the breakup.
So how do people keep sane during this painful transition? How does one pick up the pieces of his or her life, especially after having been so interwoven with another, often for many years? Many people do not even know who they are without his or her significant other. The loss is loss and grief is grief, and once it’s over, a person faced all the stages of grief to deal with like denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. And unfortunately for anyone who has dealt with this, these stages do not follow any order but jump from one to the other daily for months, sometimes even years if not properly dealt with.
Everyone is going to process grief and loss in different ways, so first of all, an individual must allow him or herself to feel all the many emotions. Keeping in mind, of course, that emotions are not who a person is, they are what someone feels at any given time. Emotions ebb, they flow, they come, they go. Repressing these emotions will have them bubble up later and can also cause another relationship like the old one to occur again. So, use this time to feel and reflect and learn from the experience.
Stop communication with the ex! stop! (If there are children this is a bit tricky, but less communication is better in the long run.) Actions speak FAR louder than any words someone’s ex may tell them, so if they are not back with the person, it means they don’t want them. It may sound harsh, but it’s true! A grieving person should not waste his or her time, emotions and energy hoping things may work out. If they do eventually, they will do so on their own accord, but if communication is not severed with the ex, or one is spending time stalking them on social media and such, it will be impossible to move forward. Block them, take them out of any contacts, and cut all cords. There is a lot of helpful information on the internet for “cutting cords.”
Like Don Miguel Ruiz explains in his book The Four Agreements, “Nothing others do is because of you, it is a projection of their own reality.” Whether people love or hate others has nothing to do with the other person, and everything to do with them.
Physically, clean out ALL remnants of the other person from all living spaces or as much as possible. Clean, wash walls with white vinegar, move or buy new furniture, sage everything; whatever it takes to remove the other person’s energy. Get rid of photos, or at least store them away for a time. Individuals need to recreate who they are, so start with the basics like living spaces.
It’s important for a grieving person to move his or her body, get out of the house, and keep busy in healthy and positive ways. Join the gym, find some meetup groups that focus on things like pottery, jewelry making, a book club, or whatever it is that one enjoys. This is the time to make new habits, learn from past mistakes and step into this new and improved person! Don’t look back because you’re not going that way!
There may be times when the mind ruminates, like a broken record, playing over and over again, but the sooner a person cuts those cords, the sooner the mind chatter will slow down. One should replace these thoughts with all that he or she is grateful for, or other positive mantras and things. When negative talk enters the mind, nip it in the bud with the simple technique of saying “cancel, cancel, delete, delete” or “only good will come from this experience.”
Also, do not be afraid to seek professional help, whether from a talk therapist, hypnotherapist, energy healer, acupuncturist, and other healing modalities. Many of life’s bad breakups teach individuals the most, so use this time to dig deep within, in a constructive way, so one heals, learns and evolves into a better version of his or her self.
Those with broken hearts will love again. They will heal. Be patient and understanding with feelings, use loved ones for support, allow emotions to flow through and then release them. Never forget that humans are spiritual beings currently having a human experience and all these situations are taking place, so learning may be achieved. The pain a person feels is not what defines them. Use this time to focus on loving self, while embracing all the beautiful new and exciting adventures that lie ahead. Being now free, embrace this new-found power and delve into the beauty of the soul, and all the new possibilities ahead! Be FREE! Be love! Be powerful!
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About the Author
Susan Schueler is a psychic medium living in Venice Beach California with her two dogs and magical cat Merkaba. She does live demonstrations, private readings and teaching around the country. Before being a full-time Psychic Medium, Susan was a teacher for almost 25 years and is certified in both NY State and California. Reach Susan at MediumSusan.com.
