Moving Beyond Grief and Loss
Hard as it may be, sad as it may sound, a loss is just a part of living.
A Life Beyond Loss
By Jayita Bhattacharjee
Saying goodbye to someone we love is never easy. To wave the final farewell to the nearest and dearest is one of life’s most difficult thing to do. It is a life that pushes us sometimes, to do the most undoable thing. How to get through a hardest hit and still come out alive, the pathway varies from person to person. Someday we will need to return to the places we ran away from, to the life we need to live with what is left. The question is how.
Millions of people throughout the world harm themselves while trying to escape this type of suffering. The truth is, as we open ourselves to the pain, we open ourselves to joy again. There will come a time, when the words of comfort from family and friends, will heal only so much, and the rest of the journey is ours and ours alone. However, the saddest truth is grief never works linearly. It never follows a straight line. So, how do we get through something that gave us the hardest blow?
Many go through silent suffering that the world knows nothing about. Some are ashamed to admit what a profound emptiness they are going through. Waking up can be waking to a staring void. Going to bed is returning to a place that is painted with previous moments of yesterday’s life. However, we have to return to normalcy, someday, someway, somehow. We cannot say no. We don’t have any options left. So, why don’t we wipe the rain of pain, and choose the path of creativity as an escape route from the agony that cuts us inside?
Hard as it may be, sad as it may sound, a loss is just a part of living. We do ourselves no justice or service while we deny the devastating damage that erupts unexpectedly though our lives. We are faced with living through loss, and the curiosity of how to get there in a healthy, wholesome manner. Not by seeking refuge in drugs, alcoholism, eating disorder, compulsive shopping, getting into relationships. To heal from one self-medicated form of relief, we go another. Hoping and wishing that a relationship journey might bring the light of healing. It doesn’t; rather it pulls us back into the seething darkness. Exploring the landscape of loss, we let the loss unfold life’s brilliant narrative, full of beauty and bloom.
As we hold on to those who are close to our hearts, we seek refuge in the comfort of their words and company. They may not take away our cutting pain, but their understanding and companionship can be a lot in the most challenging times. They can make us stand when our feet seem to fail. Even though one day we have to stand on our own, they can be there until the need for their comfort comes.
We can engage in a world of arts because it fills our hearts. It can chisel through the sorrow. Moreover, where many things fail, it is the world of colors as we hold a brush, it is the weaving of words as we hold a pen, that can bring us something in our darkest days. It is art that can calm us down on our stormiest days. The emotional us begins to calm, and we become steadier with rising the creativity that lights our hearts.
We can slow down the pace of our lives and allow ourselves the time to heal. As a buried pain can be deadly, one that can chase us for a lifetime, grief has no timeline. Take time to hold the unfolding beauty of nature. We have probably forgotten the music of life while living in the faster lanes, but the music never dies. It is us who kill it, with our relentless chase after things. As we take ourselves off those faster lanes of life and see through, hear through, feel through the hidden beauties of nature, we feel the breeze again. We can take the time, as time is all ours.
We need not withdraw ourselves, as in the process we will lose more of ourselves. We can step outside or, let our world be smaller than it once was. We may make and lose several friendships during this journey of healing. Still, this is a walk we have to take. As we permit ourselves to receive support, in the retreat of those who care for our hearts, healing begins.
Grieving has no identity, it has no social status. We should push our worries about society’s perceptions aside and allow ourselves to grieve in the sheltering arms of those who love us. We can make room for new friendships in the worst times. Trusting the cycle of life will show us someday, that the sun will rise, breaking through the clouds. Moreover, it will be a new day. Will life ever be the same? No, of course not. We will always carry our loss. Still, we can have an experience beyond loss, whose music, albeit different, will call our hearts again.
You will also enjoy Dealing with Grief and Andrew Pacholyk: Spiritual Journey through Life’s Seasons
About the Author
Jayita Bhattacharjee, born in Calcutta, India, studied at the University of Houston in Economics, had chosen her career as a trustee and teacher.
Her love for writing on a journey of heart and soul was hidden all within. Her books ” The Ecstatic Dance of Soul’, ” Sacred Sanctuary” are some of the many that are she authored in her deepest calling.
Find her on Goodreads
