The Process of Dying with Grace
Dying is never a subject we want to discuss, but it is important for us to ease any fears for those ready to transition. As a family member, watching the deterioration and not being able to find the right words to bring comfort, it can be even more daunting. There are things we can do to ease any fears our loved one may have and to make the transition a little easier.
Dying with Grace
by Kay Reynolds
We’ve all been there. Sitting in a hospital, knowing our loved one will be gone soon, is difficult. We struggle to find the right words, but nothing comes. We wonder if there are any words, we can say to make this better.
Mediums are confronted with this reality daily and find themselves helping those in need. People turn to us because they believe we know or at least have an idea of what waits for us all when we leave this world. We know there is no death, at least not for the spirit or soul. The body is the only thing we leave behind. Our true essence, or the soul, returns to the spirit world.
People often seek us out to help them find words to help their loved ones. We are often asked to talk about the afterlife, to reassure them they won’t be alone when they die, and they will be met with the most amazing unconditional love. Everyone deserves to die with grace.
A medium friend, named Catherine, comforted her own mother, who was very afraid of what would happen when she died. She simply explained to her mom she would have one last breath here, and the next moment, she would be surrounded by an incredible feeling of love and peace. She explained how her own spirit would immediately recognize all who were there to greet her and she would be free to speak and free to move at last. Her physical restriction here would not go with her.
Catherine went through great strides to make this as comfortable for her mom and the family as possible. In the last week, they gathered around their mother and reminisced about all their family travels, shenanigans, and fun times. They laughed, they sung favorite songs, and they took turns holding their mom’s hand. They talked about how wonderful it will be for her to meet the family in the spirit world, how they knew she’d being playing cards with granddad, and hugging baby Mary.
They knew she may not be able to hear them. They knew she could not speak, but they did it anyway, just in case she could. They wanted the last memory of their mom to be a celebration of her life, and if she could hear them, they knew her last memory would be with grace.
As her body began to shut down, Catherine could feel the spirit world coming into her mother’s room. The spirit family gathered all around her. It was standing room only. She could feel her father, her grandparents, and the sister she never met. They were all there. They had watched the celebration of life taking place over the last few days. Now, it was time to welcome her mother home.
She leaned over and whispered, “They are all here now waiting to give you a big hug. When you are ready, let go and fly.”
Within thirty minutes of her mom’s passing, she was communicating with her. Her mom was so excited to see the love of her life, her family, and the daughter who had left this world so many years ago. The first thing she said was it is just like you told me. They are all here.
When mediums work with families and bring their loved ones through to speak with them, the stories of their transitions are all very similar. Most spirit communicators want their loved ones to know one or more of the following.
They made it! This alone brings great comfort to the family.
I was aware of you being in the room, and your voice, your touch brought me comfort. Thank you!
They have been reunited with friends, family, and even pets who passed before them.
Most importantly, they want them to know they have not gone anywhere. They are still around the family.
It is important for us to make this process as comfortable as possible for those ready to transition. Those in the spirit world have taught us a thing or two on what is important just before death. We can take their stories to help those here has an easier transition.
Reassure them, there will be someone there to greet them.
Talk to your loved one even if you’re not sure they can hear you. Reminisce about the good times and celebrate the life they lived.
Hold their hand. Let them know you are there.
Remember to take care of yourself, too.
Reach out to professions such as hospice. They deal with this every day. They can answer your questions and will be there for you.
Saying goodbye is one of the most difficult things we go through. Not all situations are the same, so it’s important to find what works for you and your family. For Catherine, knowing her mom was overjoyed reuniting with family, and knowing she is only a thought away brought her comfort. She finds peace in knowing years of suffering in a crippled body is over for her mom, and the family did all they could to help her die with grace.
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About the Author
Kay Reynolds B. Ed, M.Ed, ABA is a retired teacher, a full-time medium, spiritual consultant, teacher of mediumship, writer, and speaker. You can find her at www.kayreynolds.org
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