Gabrielle Bernstein: Mastering the Super Attractor
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: The Universe always delivers, and the Universe always says yes for what we desire or what we don’t. What we are attracting is what we’re aligned with. So, whenever we’re in a belief system of lack, fear, or uncertainty, we’re going to attract that into our life. When we’re in a belief system of joy, inspiration, and love, we’re going to magnetize the things that we do want. We’re all Super Attractors; we just forgot, so we’ve been misusing that magnetic energy. When we get into the energy of forcefulness, controlling or manipulating, we lose sight of the powerful magnet that we are to attract what we truly want. This book is not a book about getting the thing and attracting things, but about how to feel good, because when we begin to align with feeling good, we manifest what we want rather than the things we don’t want.
SANDIE SEDGBEER: The words “energetic alignment” seem to be on everyone’s lips these days. What does energetic alignment mean to you?
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: It means that you have done whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness. In this book, I mention Abraham Hicks 26 times. This book is very influenced by Abraham, and I love what he says about when you’re feeling good; you reach for more. That’s how we get into a sustainable alignment. By leaning towards what feels good and reaching for more and more. And what may feel good at the moment may be that we’re in such despair that blaming someone could feel better, but that’s fine, reach for more of that because it’s getting you out of despair? So, there’ are different levels of reaching for feeling good. It doesn’t mean that I’m reaching, and, all of a sudden, I’m perfectly joyful. It’s reaching for the next best emotion, best feeling thoughts, and guiding yourself there.
SANDIE SEDGBEER: You say there is a way that we can check the energy behind a request. What is it?
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: So, when we have a desire that’s backed with the belief of ‘Oh when I get this, I’m going to be happy. When I get that I’ll feel good enough. Or, I need that to feel good enough.” That’s a sure sign that your desire is not backed with spiritual alignment. When we set an intention or desire that’s backed with love, service, inspiration, and joy, then we can be sure it is backed with spiritual alignment. So, it’s really about connecting yourself with ‘What is it I’m feeling behind my desire?’ And if it’s not backed with spirit, with joy, love, and inspiration, then do what you’ve got to do to reframe it, reprogram it, or maybe release it for a while until you get cleaner in that area. If you’re just searching, and longing, and pushing, and controlling, you will be like a fish out of water—floundering.
SANDIE SEDGBEER: Ever since The Secret, and long before that, people have been talking about asking the Universe for what they want. It has almost become a cliché, and I can understand that people get very skeptical about it, or they do it as a ‘gimme, gimme, gimme’ kind of approach, but they don’t really believe it. How would you encourage someone to get to that place where they can ask for what they want and believe that they can have it?
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: I think there are two things here. One thing is that I’ve started to receive more and more of what I want once I stopped asking the Universe to give me things, and started asking the Universe to show me what I needed to do and what was meant for me. So, I think that faith comes when you recognize that the secret to prayer is to forget what you think you need, and allow what is in the highest good to be revealed to you. When we pray for this, or whatever is the highest good, that’s how we can believe it, because sometimes our plans are not nearly as good as the plan that the Universe or God has for us. Right? We have to do our part to have the freedom to have a desire – it’s fine to have a great desire – but let it go and trust that this is something better.
SANDIE SEDGBEER: Your second principle to help people on their spiritual path is that it’s good to feel good. But you also say that most of us resist feeling good. Why do you think that is?
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: We resist feeling good because we’ve become so accustomed to feeling bad, and I think, in many ways, we choose fear and discomfort as a way of protecting ourselves from not getting what we want, from disappointment, from being vulnerable, so we don’t give ourselves permission to really let go and feel good because we don’t believe we’re worthy of it. When we begin a spiritual practice, we start to see the synchronicities and the support that’s around us. That is one big way to begin to establish a sense of worthiness and see how supported you really are.
SANDIE SEDGBEER: Interestingly, we default to negative. People always remember the negative experiences in life more than the positive ones. They seem to put more stock into them and credit them for shaping the way they are. Isn’t it sad that we default to feeling bad because it feels comfortable?
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: It is sad, and it’s the focus we’re trying to defy. The focus that you need that thing to be happy, but you actually need to be happy to have all those things in your life. With this book, I’m really encouraging your desire to be happy and free and trusting that the Universe will get you there in weird ways. I’ve been on such a devotional path of committing to being happy and free, and right now in my life, I’ve never felt better than I do right now. I’ve never felt freer, happier more peaceful, but the Universe had a big plan to get me there. Five months ago, I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression, and I was suicidal. That rock bottom of mental illness was the catalyst for some of the greatest freedom I’ve ever experienced, and that’s where I am now. So, it’s interesting how we get there.
SANDIE SEDGBEER: You’ve spoken publicly about your fertility struggle. It took you three years to get pregnant, and you so wanted this baby. And despite all the disappointment and the frustration, and I’m sure the sadness, you understood that the Universe has its own timing. And then you get what you want, and you’re hit with post-partum depression. That must have come as a big shock and a disappointment. At a time like that, when the body chemistry is off, it is hard to find feeling good. When your tools don’t work, how do you get out of that?
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN: Yes, it’s a good question. In the book, I say the secret to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad. That’s all nice and good in the regular scenario, but when you’re in a situation where you have a biochemical issue, and you want to kill yourself you could say, well, how could I decide to stop feeling bad? But it was my commitment to stop feeling bad that got me out. Every day I would say, ‘Well, I had another hour of sleep tonight, which is better than last night when I didn’t sleep one minute. Right?’ And I would continue to pray for help and say ‘I know that help is on the way.’ Just simply saying that I know help is on the way is a conscious commitment to stop feeling bad. That commitment is what kept me connected to my faith and not give up. When we have that connection to faith, we can trust that we’re being guided. In my case, I was guided to my therapist who said, ‘Your tools are not working, you have to go further.’ And that is when I sought psychiatric support. We have to understand that when we surrender and trust in God, we will be guided to what we need to heal and that we can’t be the director of our healing path. The psychiatric support I received allowed me to feel safe enough to do really deep healing, karma work, recovery work, and that’s what has given me the freedom that I have right now. I can see how perfect that post-partum experience was because now I can speak authentically and vulnerably about mental illness, and I now no longer will be contributing to the stigma.
Continue to Page 3 of the Interview with Gabrielle Bernstein: Mastering the Super Attractor
