Self-Improvement Won’t Make You Feel Better- But This Will

Benefits: it is easily learned and quickly implemented for fast results.

Downsides:  it only goes skin deep, and it can disappear when we are triggered

Transformation

On the other hand, the process of transformation is quite different.  It involves changing our perspectives and literally changing who we believe ourselves to be.  Notice that I said “I believe ourselves to be,” not who we are. At the core, we are who we are, but throughout our lives, beliefs, judgments, assumptions, and stories that have been told to us and that we have told ourselves have layered on top of that core being creating a morass of misery.  The process of transformation is the process of clearing out the morass to get back to the pure self. This isn’t easy; it’s rarely quick (although it can be if our resistance to it is low), and it requires doing hard, and scary things like looking at the parts of ourselves that we think are ugly or unacceptable.  Some people call this shadow work. Ultimately, to become someone new, we have to accept that the person we were has to die. This is known as a shamanic death. This means we also have to overcome the fears and resistances that our ego throws up in our faces as we go. This path is harder, but in the end, the work goes deep inside us and changes our insides.  We FEEL different. Any changes that happen on the outside are a function of the changes on the inside. They are not skills we’ve learned; they are new responses based on our new ways of seeing ourselves and the world around us.

Benefits:  Changes the way we feel inside, and our outer responses are now a function of that new way of feeling.  Therefore, the responses don’t disappear when we are triggered.

Downsides:  We have to look at stuff that makes us uncomfortable, and we have to overcome our fears and our resistance to change.