The Technosexual Revolution and Intimate Relationships
How will the future of relationships be reformulated and reimagined to integrate our advances in technology? What is the future of relationships in the technosexual revolution?
Love in the Roaring ‘20s: The Technosexual Revolution and the Future of Intimate Relationships
by Dr. Kelly Neff
As we enter this new decade, we are witnessing and participating in multiple paradigmatic shifts that have altered the course of human life, love, and perhaps even our evolution. From our enhanced understandings about the changes in our environments to the types of foods we consume to our spiritual relationships with the divine, we are entering this new decade in a very different place from how we entered the past one, and our lives and relationships may be nearly unrecognizable by the end of it!
Nowhere is this potential transformation more apparent than when we consider how human love, intimacy, and connection have been reformulated and reimagined to integrate our advances in technology, which is evolving alongside our ever-fluctuating desires and appetites. Just look at our ability to communicate instantly with millions of strangers all over the world. One the one hand, social media can feel toxic, opening the door to feedback loops that emphasize cognitive bias, and leaving us vulnerable to trolling and bullying. Yet, it also has the power to connect us, often delivering a sense of community and support that we would otherwise be without. Would the voices of the #Metoo movement have come together in such a thunderous roar if it wasn’t for our ability to share together on social media?
When it comes to love and sex, will this be the roaring ‘20s, the whoring ‘20s, or just the boring ‘20s? Well, maybe it’s all of the above! One thing is for sure, which is the desire to more deeply cultivate our humanity contrasted with the allure of the techno-sexual revolution is guaranteed to create multiple avenues for experimentation, growth, joy, and even pain. So, what can we expect from the future of sex and relationships in the next decade?
The Technosexual Revolution – Sex with Robots
The implications of robot sex have already received quite a lot of attention in popular culture (thanks to programming like Westworld, and so on), which means it is something we may have already started visualizing and contemplating. Fully AI sex robots are not that far off, with AI heads already being manufactured that can be attached to exiting sex dolls to give them customizable personalities and “life-like” qualities. While the price is high, as with all technology, it is guaranteed to come down. From sex doll brothels and sex doll vacation tourism already happening in Europe, fully automated AI sex robots seem like a very possible progression of this trend.
The Pew Research Center has predicted that by 2025, people may be having sex and even marrying sex robots.[i] But what does this mean for our humanity and our definition of love, if we can fall in love with and commit to non-human entities designed and purchased solely for our pleasure? How will we ever learn about the compromise and sacrifice required by true love if we can just hit the off switch?
Now I know what you’re thinking, that most “normal” people wouldn’t have sex with robots or even think about marrying them. But the idea of some kind of moral or right “normal” when it comes to human sexuality is inherently problematic. From a sex-positive perspective, anything that a person chooses to do sexually, as long as they give consent and their partner(s) give consent, is normal. Psychologists are even noticing a rise in people who identify as “digisexual”- meaning their primary sexual identity comes through the use of technology.[ii]
Millions of people have already downloaded virtual girlfriend/boyfriend apps, and hundreds of millions more spend time masturbating to porn or erotica on their phones and sending sexts or nudes over Snapchat. Is it really that much of stretch that some might want to at least experiment with a robotic partner? Especially younger millennials and Gen-Z who have grown up using technology for all forms of communication, and who will be driving the emerging market in this area? One recent UK survey even showed that of over 200 college-aged heterosexual men, 40% said they would consider buying a sex robot now or in the next five years[iii] (I just hope I’m invited to the first robot-human wedding!)
The Technosexual Revolution – Brain to Brain Interfacing
If robots aren’t really your thing, don’t stress, there are still plenty of ways that the sex of the future can tune you into your partner(s) and turn you on. One of the most intriguing technological advances here involves haptic sex toys and “active skin” technologies that can link sexual stimuli from pornography or from your partner’s brain directly into your central nervous system, lighting up all five senses. Futurist Ian Pearson even predicts that by 2030, we will have high-resolution VR contact lenses projecting images onto our retinas, and we won’t even notice we are wearing them.[iv] Potentially, this new tech might enable you to actually feel your partner’s stimulation (and even their orgasms!) inside of your own brain- making partners feel closer and more connected than ever before.
The Technosexual Revolution – Transhumanistic Sexual Biohacking
Rather than competing with the sex robots of the future for attention, some of us might opt to become one with machines. If you like the idea of active skin and brain to brain interfacing, perhaps you might also consider transhumanistic sexual biohacking. Biohacking stems from the notion that humans are often striving to enhance ourselves to transcend the limits of our biology, sometimes to extremes. The transhuman line of thinking here is that by augmenting ourselves as ‘sexual cyborgs,’ we can integrate the best elements of humans and machines to create something entirely greater than the sum of its parts.
This idea may reek of outlandish sci-fi plot lines to you, but it doesn’t seem entirely impossible that in this decade humans could harness some of the technological advances already coming down the pipeline, such as advanced surgical techniques, gene editing, lab-grown genital implants and tissue engineering, to enhance and customize our sexual bodies and performance. After all, body modification through hormone manipulation and plastic surgery have already become commonplace, even with the genitals. Could transhumanism become the next step in our evolution?
Spiritual Technology
As with every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, so too in the next decade will we seek innovations from within our own spiritual practices rather outside technologies to connect more deeply with our partners. We could even call yoga, crystals, plant medicines, pranayama, Reiki, and so on “spiritual technologies” whose origins may remain ancient but whose resurgence is anything but. Indeed, we are rediscovering and inventing healing practices that have the power to bring us closer together through breath, movement, mindfulness and journeys that will help to enhance our levels of sexual consciousness. Consider the popularity of Tantra, Kundalini Yoga, psychedelic plant medicines and even types of meditation designed to bring about orgasm without ever actually touching yourself or your partner… Who wouldn’t like to experience a “mindgasm” after all?!
I believe that spirituality and technology are not mutually exclusive, and to see them in opposition reflects a duality that does not serve where we are heading. Perhaps our deepened spiritual practices are evolving coherently with the technologies that can bridge the gaps between people? Right now, we need access to any mediums that can help us unite against toxic masculinity, break down gender stereotypes, encourage body positivity, support each other through trauma and replace the old paradigms about sex with something that feels more natural, honest, and open.
Fluid Identities
If there is anything we can take away from where we are now and where we might be going, it is that in the ‘20s, we will continue to disrupt and destroy the old rules to make way for innovative approaches that reflect inclusivity, consent, and self-expression. Just as we are changing how we eat, how to spend our free time, and our pursuits of health and wellness, so too are we adapting our identities and relationships to new ways of thinking and feeling. We are witnessing a breakdown of the dichotomy between masculine and feminine gender roles and the rise of individuals with non-binary gender identities who choose not to adhere to either category or who choose to fluctuate. Which other categories of sex and identity will we break down and what will arise in their place?
In terms of relationships, fluid styles that allow for an option outside of monogamy will continue to become more commonplace. Consensual non-monogamy is the term used to describe relationships where partners have more than one partner, about which they are open, honest, and consenting. Many have argued that this approach reflects the ideas of ‘non-attachment’ so prevalent in spiritual traditions, by allowing people to love without jealousy or scarcity. Others emphasize the importance of relationship fluidity, where some people may be monogamous or non-monogamous throughout their lives depending on their partners and life phases.
So will the upcoming technosexual revolution lead to better sex and deeper intimacy, or will it erode our abilities to connect as we become closer with machines than with flesh and blood humans? Nobody knows for sure, but I believe that so long as we remain present and mindful, we should be able to experience the best of both worlds! Each of us has responsibilities to cultivate and respect the humanity of the people in our lives, whether in person or online. We already know that people are not disposable objects to be discarded or ghosted when a shiny new toy comes along. Many of us have already noticed how society puts too much emphasis on accumulating objects and not enough on having compassion for others. So long as we keep this crucial distinction in mind and continue to engage in this type of open dialogue, we should be able to embrace whichever sexual technologies turn us on. Just remember that we each have the right to decide where our healthy boundaries lie with technology and to express them to the people in our lives!
[i] Aaron Smith and Janna Anderson, “AI, Robotiocs, and the Future of Jobs,” Pew Research Center (2014), www.pewinternet.org/2014/08/06/future-of-jobs/
[ii] Neil Mcarthur and Markie L C Twist, “The Rise of Digisexuality: Therapeutic Challenges and Possibilities,” Journal of Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 32.3–4 (2017), Special Issue on Sex and Technology, 334–44
[iii] J Szczuka and N Kr.mer, “Not Only the Lonely – How Men Explicitly and Implicitly Evaluate the Attractiveness of Sex Robots in Comparison to the Attractiveness of Women, and Personal Characteristics Influencing This Evaluation,” Multimodal Technologies and Interaction, 1.1, 3 (2017), https://doi.org/10.3390/mti1010003
[iv] C Nash, “EXCLUSIVE: Futurologist Dr Ian Pearson on Sex with Robots, Contact Lens VR, and More,” Brietbart Tech (5 July 2016), www.breitbart.com/tech/2016/07/05/exclusive-people-will-emotional-sex-robots-2030-according-futurologist-dr-ian-pearson
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About the Author
Dr. Kelly Neff is a Social Psychologist, Author, Professor, Futurist, and Talk Radio Personality who has electrified the transformational media world with her unique focus on the intersection of psychology, consciousness, and human sexuality. For more information about Dr. Kelly Neff’s book and work, visit www.sexpositivebook.com and check out her radio show on www.thelucidplanet.com.
