Family Karma: Healing Through Conflict

Family can hurt us so much and it is up to us to transform that pain into love. We have this power. However difficult it may seem, it can and should be done.

Working through Family Karma

The family is our most precious asset in life, our pillar, the reference we have in the world. The first faces we see at birth are those of our family, and they are also the ones that make us feel for the first time what love is. We are a reflection of our family life.

But, when we look more closely, we can see that family relationships are very troubled most of the time, with many conflicts and traumas carried over a lifetime. Problems with the mother, an absent father, very authoritarian, or competition between siblings are examples of families’ emotional dynamics.

Not everyone who has dysfunctional families becomes violent or criminal. Still, all criminals do have a history of child abuse or neglect. And why is that? The family is where the purest and most sincere love among human beings should be, but this is not the case.

To better understand family relationships, we will use the French spiritualist Allan Kardec’s works as a basis. There, we find explanations that allow us to know why some of the family is the cradle of countless joys and a haven concerning life’s difficulties. For others, it is a trial, a source of much anguish, trauma, and deprivation.

The first thing to understand is that we incarnate here for a purpose. The family we are born into is part of our incarnational programming. We are social human beings, which means that living in a society is a natural law. This mechanism allows our moral and intellectual progress. And the organization in family nuclei is part of this law. It is through the family, primarily, that we can educate and improve ourselves.

In this way, we can say that the family experience can be the atoning one because, through blood ties, the differences built in other lives can be healed through love.

Through divine justice, yesterday’s enemy can become a brother, a son, a father, or a mother in today’s life. The bonds previously established by dense feelings can become bonds of love.

But the family can also be built by close spirits, who reincarnate together because they have a spiritual connection and a purpose that does not involve rescue. They are spirits who came to seek an improvement that does not happen through family conflicts. This is the case of nuclei, where harmony and love are the fuels that fuel this relationship.

Healing the Family through Conflict

As the planet Earth is a planet of atonement, that is, a place where the spirits come to learn, the evolutionary level of the spirits that are here is not of the highest. Therefore, it is much more common to find conflicting family nuclei than those with only love, understanding, and support. This is precisely why the family’s pains are the most acute and difficult to deal with. However, what seems to us at first sight to be a problem, injustice, or punishment, is actually our cure. It is within the family that we must seek the first movement towards intimate reform!

Think. First, we have the karmic question, where the conflict experienced in this life originates from a past life. Nothing is more potent than love to bring enemies of the past closer together!

That much desired and awaited baby is almost always received with great joy. Parenting, especially motherhood, naturally builds a reliable connection, the deepest that a human being can establish in material life. The Veil of Forgetfulness is the chance that divine laws give us to start over. Unfortunately, forgiveness is still a weak skill in human beings. We need to first firm loving bonds to overcome old emotional patterns.

Notice how most people can barely forgive silly things like betrayal or debt, for example. Imagine forgiving a death or such profound things. Only a new chance and a family union can provide an approach and a possibility of spiritual connection other than resentment and hatred.

We may access Karmic healing and the possibility to learn to love if we are fraternal even with those we consider to be enemies and who have made us suffer in another life. Then, we also have our weaknesses as reasons for incarnating in a problematic family. Imagine that a spirit needs to develop Self-love and self-esteem, as it has a destructive emotional pattern. Do you think that through an incarnation in a welcoming family? Would you provide a step up on the conscious evolution of that soul? The answer is NO. Nothing is achieved through the external. We do not gain anything when it is handed to us.

All spiritual achievement takes place from within to form. Through internal movements, internal growth, and resolution. Therefore, it makes sense that someone with destructive self-esteem incarnates in a family that humiliates and further destroys their self-image. It sounds crazy, but if you think about it, it is not.

Through humiliation, there comes the point where the spirit can no longer bear to suffer and reaches the limit where transformation hides. There is no other way out of this spirit if he wants freedom and peace but to strengthen his self-esteem alone and learn not to value others’ opinions so much. Again, we find healing through conflict.

Another simple example that helps us to better understand this idea of healing through conflict is Jealousy.

Imagine the soul with a sense of ownership in affective relationships and needs to work on that weakness. Indeed, this awareness will attract relationships that instigate even more Jealousy. If this were not the case, this characteristic would not be addressed.

As long as this soul chooses Jealousy’s dense pattern to permeate his relationships, this dynamic will repeatedly happen until he frees himself from this suffering. Everything that repeats and bothers us is an opportunity for healing.

Love Also Cures

There are cases where love will heal the spiritual pain of a stream of consciousness or a soul.

Therefore, family problems are fundamental in the scope of our evolutionary journey. In the family, we find the most significant effort to understand each other better through the convention of traditions, as it is part of the family’s idea to establish an excellent daily relationship.

For this reason, individual families receive a soul conflict or less evolution, so that within the balanced and loving bosom of this family, he can better understand what love is and expand that feeling to the world.

“It doesn’t matter what life has done to you. It matters what you do with what life had made you.” ~ Sartre

Whether through love or pain, family relationships hurt us too much and can cause wounds and trauma that we will carry throughout our lives. However, understanding that this dynamic is what we need to find our own peace is part of our spiritual evolution.

Basically, all we need to do is love, even when our soul bleeds. The more understanding and love we have, the faster our wounds will heal, and the quicker we will walk the journey of our evolution. No matter what your mother, father, grandparents, or siblings have done, what really matters is how we react and reshape our perspectives and attitudes.

For example, whoever suffers abuse can choose to end karma there, and use this experience for their own evolution, freeing themselves from the bonds that family suffering imposes on us. When we forgive, the greatest good we do is to ourselves, not to the other. In fact, it is not easy to be able to see with love who seems to despise us.

“Forgiveness is a catalyst that creates the necessary ambiance for a new start for a new beginning.” ~ Martin Luther King

It is in adversity that we are most strengthened, even when these experiences generate immense pain. And, whoever manages to overcome family bitterness, is no longer hit by anything! An unshakable life force is created that makes us move forward in the best possible way.

But understand that forgiveness does not mean going there. Nor is it embracing those who make you suffer and saying, “I forgive you” because many times, these people are not even aware of the mistakes they had made. Internal forgiveness is a spiritual understanding that that spirit is disturbed and that it must also have suffered.

Forgiveness in these cases is related to overcoming resentments, healing wounds, and strengthening the soul’s spiritual fabric. So, when we forgive, we free ourselves from the bonds that pain has created for us. And whoever does this certainly managed to fulfill his mission and used the incarnation to heal and evolve.

There is no other way but love, and it is incredible how the soul can blossom, just a lotus flower, can be born from the mud, from the pain. That is why the family can hurt us so much! And it is up to us to transform that pain into love. We have this power. However difficult it may seem, it can and should be done.

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