10 Behaviors that Bring Happiness and Success

There isn’t always a clear road map when it comes to behaviors that breed fulfillment for people who want to succeed. Instead, many coaches, writers, and experts are vying for your attention, each with their own set of directions you’re supposed to follow to achieve happiness and success.

Ten Behaviors that Will Bring You Closer to Your Desired Happiness and Success

So many conflicting voices tell you which way to go that it can be extremely confusing for the average person. You never know when you’re about to take a wrong turn or get trapped in a pothole.

Rather than lay out the path you ought to take to achieve optimal success, I wanted to simplify the process for you.

I will identify ten behaviors or attitudes that will maximize the possibility of success in any aspect of your life, be it romance, career, finances, creativity, or wellness. By adopting these attitudes, you’ll be well on your way to achieving your goals.

1: Positive self-regard

Compassion toward yourself allows you to face your mistakes, failures, and shortcomings with acceptance, enabling you to see where you went wrong and implement corrective measures. When you forgive yourself instead of beating yourself up, you’re empowered to enact positive change in your life.

2: Dedication and devotion

When you’re willing to put in the hard work over some time, you’re much more likely to be rewarded with great results. The more you invest your love, energy, and efforts into your relationship, career, creative projects, or well-being, the more you’ll see the payoff over time.

3: Altruism and sharing

When you give of yourself, you feel good; when you feel good, you have more energy to be creative and productive. You create positive connections when you share your energy and ideas with others. A community of like-minded individuals is formed where everyone helps each other out, gives support in difficult times, and participates in the other person’s success.

4: Personal responsibility and accountability

When you take responsibility for your own choices and actions, you become empowered to create the best life possible. Blaming others for your misfortunes removes the power to change from your hands; taking responsibility gives you the power to make different choices to create better outcomes. Being accountable also enables other people to trust, admire and respect you, which only serves to bolster your success.

5: Mental and emotional flexibility

When you’re able to take a step back, see things from a different perspective and try a new approach, success is a lot more likely. If you can let go of the counter-productive attitudes, behaviors, beliefs, expectations, and habits that are holding you back, you’re free to create a better life in which happiness is assured.

6: Healthy skepticism

Many lies are being accepted by the majority of people without question, but these lies keep us enslaved and oppressed. True power is the ability to question the status quo, to not simply accept at face value the things you’re being told; to challenge those in authority, and to form your own opinions based on the facts you’ve observed. When you take everything with a grain of salt, you create a life that’s your very own, not what some random entities or institutions had in mind for you.

7: Immunity to other people’s opinions

We spend too much time worrying about what other people might think of us, and we are afraid that they might judge or reject us if we don’t do things the way they want. If you’re trying too hard to meet other people’s expectations, you’re going to be moving further and further away from what is most meaningful to you. It’s only by letting go of your attachment to how other people see you that you’re free to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

8: Ability to use constructive feedback

No one likes to be raked over the coals, and listening to abusive feedback is entirely unhelpful, but being able to let in constructive criticism is a secret weapon in the struggle to create the best life possible for yourself and your loved ones. When you can hear the valuable feedback people give you and apply it to your efforts, you benefit from the wisdom, experience, and objectivity of those who believe in you and support your success.

9: Resilience

The truly successful person isn’t immune to problems in life. They simply choose to see the difficulties they’re facing as painful but important life lessons, and they always try to learn from these experiences; they see adversity as an opportunity to learn, grow and do things better in the future. If you want to be happy and successful, you’ll have to cultivate the ability to transform the bitter lemons in your life into delicious lemonade.

10: Being kind, as opposed to nice

Too many of us are focused on people-pleasing behaviors, believing that by making others happy, we’ll be loved and approved of and will finally feel good about who we are. But, unfortunately, this doesn’t work. If you want to be happy and successful, you’ll need to love and accept yourself. This doesn’t come from pleasing others; it comes from being authentic and following your heart’s desires; it comes from engaging in the world with creativity, compassion, and courage, not through seeking external validation.

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About the Author

Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist that does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter. Listen here to her latest podcast. mariasirotamd.com

Originally published Mar 1, 2016