Declutter: Making Space for Happiness
Tracy has always referred to herself as “obsessive-compulsive delightful,” but who knew she could turn that trait into a booming business? While working for a major television director in Los Angeles, Tracy discovered she had the ability to see through any mess and clearly envision a clutter-free space. Coupled with keen time-management and organizational skills, Tracy soon found more and more people were asking her for help. Before she knew it, dClutterfly was born.
Making Space for Happiness – Insights from Tracy McCubbin, the Declutter Diva
I grew up in California, and my grandparents were a big part of my life. And one of the things I learned from them was to be very helpful. I learned a lot of house skills, which helped form my ability to get things done.
OMTimes: Can you share with our readers what clutter magnets are?
Tracy McCubbin: I like to describe clutter magnets by imagining us as human beings with these little holes missing inside us. So, it’s like a little missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle, and it’s either the need for love, self-respect, or self-confidence that we try to fill by buying stuff. So, we’re magnetizing stuff to try and fill a void inside. But material things don’t fill the gap, and we still feel dissatisfied. What fills us with self-confidence, self-respect, and immense love is true connection. It is interacting with other people and having genuine, intimate relationships.
OMTimes: Why is it that you believe stuff doesn’t make us feel happy?
Tracy McCubbin: You get a dopamine hit when you buy something new. We are still evolutionarily hunters and gatherers. So when we were out on the tundra or the Serengeti, if we found a pear tree or an animal, we got to hit dopamine to tell us to get that thing and save it for the winter. But now, in modern times, when manufacturing has become so cheap, and it’s easy to get consumer goods, we still get that dopamine hit, but it wears off pretty quickly. So we keep buying, thinking we’ll get that sustainable feeling. But those sustainable feelings don’t last with this action.
OMTimes: How can clutter lead to isolation?
Tracy McCubbin: Clutter can lead to isolation in a couple of ways—one is an embarrassment. If you have a lot of clutter, you can feel embarrassed to have people in your home, so you hide out there. Clutter also creates work. I always call it the busy work of clutter. You know, if you’re thinking, ‘Oh, I’ve got to clean my closet. Oh, I have to clean out my garage. I’ve got to declutter my space.’ Sometimes we use it as an excuse not to show up for the people in our lives and ourselves because it feels overwhelming.
OMTimes: How can you make a genuine connection without shopping?
Tracy McCubbin: Take a walk with somebody you like spending time around. Dr. Andrew Weil says one of the best ways to connect with another person is to walk with them. You can focus on the other person, get a rhythm with your feet, and not spend time buying more stuff.
OMTimes: Can you expand on the third clutter magnet and how to magnify self-confidence?
Tracy McCubbin: Yes! You know, no one in the world can give you self-confidence. The car you drive will not provide you with self-confidence. Neither will that so-called game-changing, anti-aging beauty cream or fab moisturizer. Your self-confidence isn’t going to come from the outside. It comes from the inside out. How are you of service to people in your life? How are you a kinder person? How are you helping the world be a better place? Knowing that you’re making a difference is the source of confidence. The other day I saw a pregnant woman struggling with her shopping cart, and I said let me help you. It gave me a great feeling to have the ability to make someone’s life a little bit easier. And with that comes confidence.
OMTimes: How does the consumption of self-care products diminish our self-worth?
Tracy McCubbin: Regarding women, there’s this focus on anti-aging, which diminishes our accomplishments. You know that by the time you’re in your 50s or 60s, you have a career under your belt, you’ve written books, raised a family, and taken care of aging parents. This focus on staying young detracts from all that you’ve accomplished because if you weren’t on this earth for this time, you wouldn’t have been able to get all that stuff done. Wow! So again, while we’re all up for looking great, dressing cute, and feeling good, the focus as we get older must be on our accomplishments and wisdom to bring to the world.
OMTimes: Why is it essential to understand that stuff can’t compensate for lack of love?
Tracy McCubbin: Material things don’t love you back.
OMTimes: How does clutter get in the way of true happiness?
Tracy McCubbin: Scientifically, clutter increases stress and cortisol levels. It is what I call an endless to-do list. If you have a lot of clutter, you are constantly trying to manage it, and therefore, you cannot use your home as a tool, respite, or a place to replenish yourself. So if you can’t practice self-care, you can’t find true happiness, which could mean simply sitting on the couch and reading a good book.
OMTimes: How do childhood experiences play into hoarding?
Tracy McCubbin: That’s a highly complex question, as hoarding is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Edition (DSM-5) as psychological. It’s very similar to an anxiety disorder. I think there can also be an addiction component. So while childhood trauma can definitely spark hoarding disorder, I think it’s often more chemical than experiential.
OMTimes: How can readers manifest purpose through decluttering?
Tracy McCubbin: Get rid of the distractions and the stuff you don’t want or use. For example, stop paying for that storage unit each month. Get clarity on what you have and what you need. Stop holding on to earthly things and focus on the difference you’re here to make in the world.
OMTimes: How should shoppers know when to splurge or purge?
Tracy McCubbin: Splurging is a result of financial literacy. It’s when you understand your budget, your means, and your financial goals. You say, ‘this is what I’m saving for.’ When you are clear and declutter your economic life, you understand the value of a splurge. You know that this is a beautiful thing I will have forever. This item is well-made, and I will always use it. Those are purchases that shouldn’t be impulse buys. I own a couple of vintage Gucci purses. I love them and carry them all the time! They were worth the splurge, and I’ll have them until I’m a little old lady.
OMTimes: What are some decluttering/organizing words of wisdom you wish to share with readers to feel healthy and happy about their purchases?
Tracy McCubbin: I’ve got two mantras: if you start saying today, you will change everything. The first one is around buying. Instead of saying I need something like, ‘I need a new pair of leggings. I need a new pair of shoes. I need a new, whatever.’ Say, ‘I want. I want a new pair of shoes.’ Just be honest that you want it, and that’s okay. You take power away from it by saying you want it instead of saying you need it.
It’s great if you work hard for something you want and decide to buy it, but if you go down the path of buying because you feel bad at the moment, that is hardly as powerful. It’s empowering to take control of your wants and needs. It’s so satisfying to know yourself truly.
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About Tracy McCubbin
Tracy McCubbin is an entrepreneur, CEO, and the author of Making Space, Clutter Free: The Last Book on Decluttering You’ll Ever Need (June 4th, 2019) and the newly launched book, Make Space for Happiness: How to Stop Attracting Clutter and Start Magnetizing the Life You Want (Sourcebooks, October 4th, 2022). She has always referred to herself as “Obsessive Compulsive Delightful,” but who knew she could turn that trait into a booming business? While working for a prominent television director in Los Angeles, Tracy discovered she could see through any mess and clearly envision a clutter-free space. Coupled with keen time-management and organizational skills, Tracy soon found more and more people were asking her for help. Before she knew it, dClutterfly was born.
In addition to her impressive organizing tool belt, Tracy grew up with family members who hoarded and knows firsthand that the effects of living amongst an accumulation of possessions go far beyond the home’s walls. This personal experience gives her an advantage over most professional organizers as she has a unique understanding of the mindset of the organizationally and spatially challenged.
When she is not dCluttering, Tracy is the proud Co-Executive Director of OneKid OneWorld, a non-profit building a strong educational foundation for children in impoverished communities throughout Kenya and Central America. OKOW provides kids with the basic (yet essential) fundamentals like desks and books, as well as paying teachers’ salaries, building classrooms, and even installing solar power technology so students can study at night. OKOW’s most recent project, #OneGirlOnePad will provide access to reusable feminine hygiene kits to over 4,000 girls in Kenya, allowing them to attend school.
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