Combating Loneliness and Weight Gain During the Holidays

The holidays can be a very lonely time regardless of the size and proximity of our family. The holiday movies start to play on television, the images in the media and in store windows emphasizing happy families all getting along and grateful for each other.  We feel the pressure to replicate these scenes with our families but we set ourselves up for unmet expectations.

Rather than be disappointed by another holiday gathering that promises joy and merriment, many of us turn to food for companionship. We imagine a safe and drama-free evening at home, watching TV and pigging out on our favorite comfort foods.  Or we may decide we don’t want to be alone so we go to the party and find ourselves feeling lonely in a crowd of people.  The solution is to seek out the nearest buffet table or bar stool and eat celebratory, festive goodies and drink more than we planned.  Why not?  Everyone else seems to be doing the same thing and enjoying it.

Then there’s the need to be with someone, anyone.  We start thinking about our ex and trying to convince ourselves that he wasn’t really all that bad.  Or we look for someone new, fast. Wouldn’t the parties be better with someone by your side?  Who are you kidding?

Stop looking for temporary, superficial fixes to occupy your time and your emotions.  The solution for loneliness is not food, it’s not your ex, and it’s not shopping at the mall to be amongst people and spend money just so you’ll have something new to bring home.

Try these healthier antidotes for loneliness:

• Help someone else.  Maybe your neighbor needs help putting up holiday lights, or shoveling snow.  Does the elderly lady down the street need a ride to the market? Is there a family in your neighborhood who will not be able to buy a Christmas tree this year?  Can you afford to contribute or get other neighbors and friends to chip in?
• Volunteer. See if the local soup kitchen, sober-living facility or women’s shelter needs a few hours of free assistance.
• Learn to say no.  If you don’t want to participate in an event just to have something to do, stay home.  But don’t just stay home, have a plan.
• Engage in spirit-lifting activities.  Put on some of your favorite music and take a bath.
• Try some of the new healthy recipes you found online or in a magazine.
• Use cinema-therapy during the holidays. Choose a favorite comedy, or if you need a good cry, actually give yourself permission to do so.   Watch Ghost or The Joy Luck Club.

Be proactive so you don’t find yourself having a pity party. Know that if a certain day or annual event usually makes you feel lonely or sad, take steps now to plan a lunch with a friend. Or spend the time with yourself, but purposefully, engaged in activities that make you feel good.  Reaching out and doing things with and for others is a great way to combat loneliness.  Once you’ve taken action, your mood will shift and the activity will have been your choice.

How have you gotten through a difficult holiday season? What proactive steps did you take to avoid loneliness?  Your comments could help one or hundreds of our readers, so please don’t hesitate to share them in the comments section below.

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