Observation to Preservation
by Gina Hardy
(for the full article, click here: OM-Times May 2010 Edition)
I was inspired today after my hot yoga class, to write about how people really get stuck in to the drama of their emotions. I watched people as they literally fought with their bodies throughout the class, one to deal with the extreme temperatures which were well over 80 degrees and two, to force their bodies into postures that “dear old bod” was not ready for. One guy especially caught my attention. It tickled me pink by the end of the class. He literally pumped out a dialogue of puffing and panting loudly and even during Savasana (relaxation) at the end, the whole class was subject to his deep “ahhhhhhs” and sighs as he came to terms with the marathon that his body clearly had disliked with a passion !
And it made me think…if we feel something and allow the drama of it to take a grip and manifest …what then ? Some peoples outbursts can register on the Richter Scale and those around them have to run for hills to take cover. I am sure you know or have known someone like this ! How do you feel around that “threat” ? Eggshell treading becomes the norm to keep the peace.
I work with couples in conflict and it sprouts grand from triggered emotions which can erode the relationship and the people in it gradually over time. Now I am not saying we should all go around holding in our emotions. Lord knows historical social conditioning has sent a lot of people on a quest to express, but it’s WHY we should observe ourselves when our pain body is activated. 9 times out of 10 reaction based on “this is what I am feeling now so you are gonna get it”, never works. Think of the times you have done it. You are more pissed at yourself which serves to increase inner pain and then you gotta dig yourself out of it with flowers, apologies and massages …or whatever !
I spent 10 days meditating at a retreat last summer in Hereford. Vipassana is the extreme sport of meditation. You spend 10 days in complete silence and spend 10 hours of each day meditating. I was never one to do things by halves ! The roots of this meditation technique are based in mindfulness and spending the whole time in observation of “the self” was one of the most profound things I had ever done. You get to witness the ramblings of the mind and its ability to take you off on tangents, in and out of stories and how it can play games with you if left to its own devices. It was scary and bizarre and incredible all at once. During meditation time we were guided to simply observe whatever sensation or emotion arose in the body and watch it pass without reacting. It did, without fail, every time. Sitting and meditating without moving a hair on my head, or to scratch an itch or move to ease a shoulder ache gave me the ability to be able to see how our mind wants to drag us into the emotional and mental drama in the moment. As feelings and painful memories came and went I saw how if I just observed, things pass. Just as night turns to day and life in its endless cycle, ebbs and flows, so do we, in this great cosmic soup. It was the best “me” training I had ever experienced and its benefits are with me every day now. Sure I feel triggered when my boyfriend “pushes my buttons” from the past, but I am way better able to articulate what is happening in me, without stripping layers of skin off him with my heated words. Thank God he didn’t meet me years ago !
