5 Ways to Talk to Your Heart

Five Ways to Talk to Your Heart

By Jacquelyn B. Fletcher

When I decided to start listening to my heart, I found out it had a lot to say. Some of my heart’s messages were cranky. (Dear You, Wake me up when you’re done sabotaging yourself for the millionth time. Love, Your Heart)

Some were demanding. (Dear You, Get your ass to yoga. Love, Your Heart)

But the majority of messages were so loving and gentle that they brought tears to my eyes. (Dear You, Thank you, brave soul, for your willingness to keep showing up. Love, Your Heart)

Since the release of Dear You: Messages From Your Heart, many readers have asked me how they too can listen to their inner voice. Here are five experiments you can try to access the wisdom of your own heart.

5 Ways to Talk to Your Heart

#1: Ask your heart directly.

Pick up your pen and a notebook. Please don’t do this exercise on a keyboard. Find a place you feel comfortable in case something comes up that makes you cry or even laugh out loud. Now, close your eyes and ask your heart what it wants you to know.

Please don’t wait for inspiration to strike. Instead try writing without picking your pen up off the paper. Write Dear You or Dear Insert-Your-Name and see what your heart has to say.

#2: Focus on compassion.

The voice of your heart is compassionate, kind and loving. If your inner voice is raging on that you’re a total loser, or a fraud, or lazy, or fat or any of those other nasty things that OTHER voice likes to tell us-ask that inner critic to kindly be quiet! When you’re talking to your heart, you’ll notice its gentle, wise voice makes you feel comforted and uplifted, not defeated.

Just for today, notice those moments when your OTHER voice is tearing you a new one, and see if you can tap into that wise voice. The one of your heart. The one that loves you no matter what.

#3: Say yes to your heart.

Help your heart learn to trust you by saying yes to the things it asks of you. For instance if you’re looking for someone special, say yes to opportunities to go out. If you’re starting a company, say yes to networking nights. If you’re upset with someone, say yes to voicing your feelings, and to the possibility of having an uncomfortable conversation. Opening to what your heart wants is not always easy, but it’s always worth it. How will you say yes to your heart this week?

#4: Commit to self-loyalty.

As a working, midlife mom, my own self-care is always the first thing to go. If my family needs something, I jump. If my clients call, I run. If my business needs me, I show up. Because I love my family and my work, often I don’t notice that my own needs have gone ignored until I’m exhausted.

If this sounds familiar, try asking your heart-that wiser voice-what it needs regularly to feel whole. Then commit to doing whatever that is. Taking care of yourself is essential for a healthy life.

#5: Make a vow.

If you were going to marry your heart, what would you say? One of the vows my heart offered was, “Dear You, I vow to give you hope whenever you need it.” In turn, I made a vow to put healthy boundaries around my heart so it could feel safe enough to open.

How about you? What vows would your heart make? What would you vow to do in return?

Here’s to your courageous, generous, and loving heart that continues to show up day after day after day.

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About the Author

Jacquelyn B. Fletcher is a mixed media artist, speaker and award-winning author whose works have appeared in media outlets around the world. Her newest book is Dear You: Messages From Your Heart (Gold House Press). She’s also the author of A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom (HarperCollins) and the co-author of Climbing the Mountain: Stories of Hope and Healing After Stroke and Brain Injury (Fairview Press) and Cancer Widow (Devlin Publishing). Jacquelyn is the co-creator and host of the Healing Words television show and a founding faculty member of the Creative Writing at the Bedside program, both administered by the Mayo Clinic Dolores Jean Lavins Center for Humanities in Medicine in Rochester, Minnesota.