Confronting the Negative – A Not-So-Happy Meal

By Dr. Terry A. Gordon

In today’s world with all of its uncertainties, it’s easy to understand why so many people find themselves stuck in the depths of despair. Whether it’s the terror gripping us as we worry about Al-Qaeda attacks using weapons of mass destruction directed at the homeland or the unsettling power of Mother Nature gone awry coupled with the fear of the financial markets unraveling, it is painfully obvious why our mental health is at risk.

A while back, I stopped at a local restaurant for breakfast. I smiled as I noticed a father opening his 4 year-old son’s ‘Happy Meal’. I reminisced back to a time long ago when my son, Tyler, and I would spend a weekend morning at what we referred to as ‘Men’s Club’ when Daddy and son would share quality one-on-one time together. As I was recalling that marvelous experience, I was suddenly yanked back into a sad reality.

As the father was unwrapping his son’s meal and toy, I realized the youngster was distracted by what was on the big-screen TV in the dining area of the restaurant. CNN was showing the vivid images of bloodied, dead students being carried from the Virginia Tech classrooms, the tragic aftermath of a bloodbath senselessly inflicted by a crazed young man.

Watching with a look of horror on his innocent young face, I watched his reaction to the video sent to NBC by the killer. Certainly, this child didn’t understand the murderer’s raging diatribe of threats and demented explanations of why he had felt compelled to commit such a horrific crime, but the impact on this youngster was undeniable.

The irony struck me that this was anything but a ‘happy meal’!

The tragic truth is that very few of us can enjoy a happy meal – or a happy day for that matter. As I witnessed this child losing an innocence he could never recapture, it became sadly apparent to me that we as a world community have also lost much, namely the forfeiture of balance in our lives.

Entire generations of children have grown up in a tragic milieu of hatred and violence. Anger and hostility continue to be cultivated beginning at a very early age. Whites are pitted against Blacks. Palestinian children have been taught to hate Israeli children and vice versa. Over a million Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda have been butchered over their perceived differences. ISIS is committing genocide, slaughtering in front of their own children anyone who doesn’t share its extreme interpretation of the Qur’an. All of these and the many other ongoing conflicts across our globe continue to feed a self-perpetuating cycle of hatred and animosity, the energy of which fuels diseased minds, bodies and spirits.

It should come as no surprise that in a study co-authored by Dr. Mark Olfson of Columbia University it was found that nearly half of those of college age in America suffer some form of mental health disorder that interferes with everyday life. These disorders included obsessive-compulsive tendencies and other anti-social behavior that can lead to violence. This has been borne out in the Boston Marathon bombings and the too frequent shooting rampages our society is experiencing.

Columbine . . . 15 dead

Virginia Tech … 32 dead

Aurora . . . 12 dead

Sandy Hook Elementary School . . . 26 dead

Charleston . . . 9 dead

With today’s technological advances, we are made aware via global and social media coverage of each catastrophe almost instantaneously. The news media, pressured by advertisers to keep the copy interesting enough to hold the attention of its viewers, must fill the screen with “Breaking News” 24/7.

In the words of Pope Francis: “Sometimes negative news does come out, but it is often exaggerated and manipulated to spread scandal. Journalists sometimes risk becoming ill from coprophilia and thus fomenting coprophagia, which is a sin that taints all men and women, that is, the tendency to focus on the negative rather than the positive aspects.”

In all fairness though, it’s not just the fault of news agencies and their reporters. We as viewers must share the blame. Our world’s culture has evolved to a point where we seem to thrive on the misfortunes of others. Perhaps this makes us feel more secure in that such atrocities have yet to touch us on a more personal level. What is it that we find so exhilarating to entice us to click on a Youtube video to watch the terrifying moments leading up to and including the beheading of a terrified man on his knees?

What we expose ourselves to dictates what we are to become. Throughout the history of mankind, many avatars have been sent to teach us important lessons. Dr. Wayne Dyer is one of those wise men reminding us, “So as you think, so shall you be.” If one allows angry and negative thoughts to enter the mind, the soul becomes poisoned with turmoil and distress. Sadly, what generally happens is that we allow negative thoughts to freely percolate through us and we end up worrying ourselves sick – literally! Chronic stress has been tied to almost every major illness known to science. If not the inciting cause, at the very least, it’s an exacerbating factor in the progression of heart disease, strokes, ulcers and even cancer.

I often wonder how most feel after watching bad news cycling over and over again or after reading a newspaper filled with tragic events of the day. Do we feel better and are we empowered, or are we weakened by that constant negative exposure? How many beheadings would occur if the media didn’t show the graphic footage of such atrocities or if we weren’t consumed in a feeding frenzy of watching such horrific crimes against humanity on social media?

We would be much better not exposing our souls to such negativity.

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It is the constant barrage, the incessant exposure to the negative energy percolating through our world that is poisoning the innocent and fertile minds of our children. We must do something to change this path of destruction.

Each time the unspeakable occurs, another potential lesson is presented to us. The tragic loss of life, regardless of which side of the battle line it occurs, offers us the opportunity to begin anew, to change the thought, to begin teaching our children well.

We should expose our children not to the negative energy percolating through our world, and not to the constant barrage of horrific scenes our children view in the movies, in video games, and on television. We must provide our children and thus ourselves with a vastly different paradigm, the path of positive thoughts. We must teach our children to nurture our humanity, not to ignore it.

The inspirational response of love and forgiveness demonstrated recently by the beautiful family members of those gentle people massacred at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, should serve as a beacon for the rest of us, illuminating our path to reconnect with what it is I believe we all seek, Peace . . . Shalom . . . Salaam.

Whether here in America or in Afghanistan, on the streets of Baltimore or Beirut, in hallowed places of worship like a Sunni mosque in Tehran or a Jewish synagogue in Terre Haute, our legacy to the next generation can be to offer a life much different from the one we have all helped to create. The gift to our children can be the taste of a truly positive life experience.

Perhaps it could begin with a ‘Happy Meal’.

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About the Author

Dr. Terry A. Gordon is a man of many facets. A retired cardiologist, Dr. Gordon was named National Physician of the Year by the American Heart Association for his work in placing defibrillators in the schools of Ohio – a campaign that has now gone national. He is the best-selling author of, No Storm Lasts Forever, which teaches how to overcome tragedies by shifting our perspective. He was a founding member of Stewart’s Caring Place, a facility of wellness established for those individuals and families touched by cancer. Terry is also the co-host of ‘Docs Who Rock,’ a fundraiser for the United Way.
drterrygordon.com