Relationships Under the Magnifying Glass
by Emma Bennett
Many of us are constantly provoked into pulling out our detective’s magnifying glass and consciously examining how we connect and react within our relationships. What’s surprising is that these are areas we thought we already covered on more than one occasion, so why do we keep finding ourselves back here discussing it again?
When this happens, this is our chance to realize that when it comes to our relationships whatever we think we know could actually be working against us. It’s time to let go of all the accumulated knowledge, so that we may become vulnerable once more (and perhaps a little more humble) in discovering something new.
Why Use a Magnifying Glass for Consciously Examining Relationships?
One reason why we use our metaphoric magnifying glass for consciously examining relationships is that things are always changing. Nothing is ever the same as it was ten years ago, six months ago, or even last week. We have changed, other people have changed, everything has changed, and now our perceptions have altered in reflection of that. When our perceptions of the current moment change, our perception of the past also shifts. We may find that our memories present themselves differently to what they have done before and are revealing alternate perspectives of previous situations–either showing them in a brighter light or perhaps invoking some more challenging feelings.
The thoughts we’ve had about these people in our lives have served us up until now. It was those very beliefs that helped us process in a certain way and to bring us to this point in our lives, but we may have out-grown that way of thinking. We can ask ourselves, “What am I believing about my relationships that is not really true anymore?”
It might feel at first that all of what we believe is true because we’ve become so attached to the story that created that belief, but what if that story isn’t true? What if ego is creating a tale that feels more familiar and keeps us in a stagnant place rather than being able to move forward? We know ego just hates to move forward.
Every time we find ourselves in this place of re-examining where we stand in our interactions with others, we have the opportunity to bring forward relevant ways of looking at our relationships as well as different approaches when it comes to healing and connecting with the people currently in our lives. We are also perpetually getting ready for the people who are about to make an entrance in the next chapter of our lives.
Here’s a great tool to use, beyond the magnifying glass, when we want to take a deeper look into consciously examining how we view our relationships. This exercise invites us to connect with our inner child.
Close your eyes and take some deep breaths down into your stomach. When you feel relaxed, see your child-self standing in front of you. First, give yourself a hug! Then, ask your younger self where you lost your faith in your closest relationships. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your inner child and find out what it has been that you needed, where you’ve not been receiving and where you’ve been withholding support and validation. Your inner child will show you exactly what your perception of relationships has been and why you’re now ready to open up into trusting, loving connections.
During this exercise, you also have the opportunity to tell your inner self that everything is different now since you are now empowered, safe, free and deserving of love within all your relationships. This powerful, healing tool can help us to realize what we are still carrying from the past and where we can now make changes to ensure that more interactions are harmonious and loving.
Consciously Examining What We Find with the Magnifying Glass
Whatever is coming up right now for you is as always for a really great reason. It is peeling away the layers and cracking open our hearts. We are becoming more and more aware that we need people in our lives to share with and to help one another grow, but it’s bigger than that.
As human beings, we need to love. It is fundamental to our well-being. It is only our fear and resistance to loving that causes us so much suffering because the reality is that we need to love. As we clear away all the rules we’ve been using to protect ourselves, we create the space we need to be open and willing to experience the many, many ways of connection and loving once more.
Everyone knows how to love. We are all born with that gift, but we need others to awaken that gift within us. As we go through times of reflection and processing on our relationships, let us make a choice to not use it as a reason to feel bitter or enraged, so that we may love less. Rather know that this is absolutely necessary, so that we may love more.
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About the Author
Emma Bennett is the co-creator of The Sacred Spaces. She is a Seer, which is someone who sees, feels and knows deeply and intuitively. Emma loves life and spends her time helping people to embrace their own beauty, truth, power and love and to create a life they don’t need to escape from – a life they can love!
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