Helping Your Child to Develop Self-Love and Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is an essential factor in our general well-being, in our relationships and how we relate to our environment. Do you know how to help build your child’s self-esteem? Here are some tips on how to aid your child to have more confidence and be self -reliant.

Developing Self-Esteem in Children

Self-esteem is in a sort of way a self-image, the way a person thinks about herself. This means that with high self-esteem we can see ourselves as very capable, a good, and a secure person aware of our worth. On the other hand, when there is low self-esteem it means that we do not see ourselves as having enough value, we think we are not good enough, and we feel insecure about ourselves and our needs.

All parents want their children to like and respect themselves because in this way they can grow up as safe and happy people. However, some parents also worry that their children have very low or very high self-esteem.

But the truth is that if you find yourself very good, very capable or very valuable all the time, it can also be a negative aspect.  The key to a healthy life is finding balance.

 Self-Esteem in Children

There is always parental concern about both high self-esteem and low self-esteem, but we must pay attention to all the different aspects of the same coin

It is possible that as a parent you see in your children self-esteem that is very “inflamed” about their own abilities, or your child may think you are better than other people. When this happens, it is not high self-esteem what appears, it is low self-esteem camouflaged, it is a feeling of grandeur caused by great insecurity.

The Low self-esteem aspect can sometimes be expressed as self-critical behavior, but it is often revealed through arrogance or the need to believe that we are better than others. This is a defense against the deep fear of believing that we are not good enough. It comes from the belief that others will criticize us or that others are better.

On the other hand, people with high self-esteem, are very safe and know that they have a great value, and the best thing is that they are people (in this case children) who do not need to compare themselves with others to improve their abilities. Their good concept of themselves is enough to make them feel good.

How to help a child develop good self-esteem

The child should have the opportunity to feel fit to do things by itself. For this,  a child should know that the effort is more important than the result, that it does not matter if they succeed or they fail; what matters is that they have struggled to achieve good results. When a child feels capable, they can meet their needs and achieve their goals and be a well-adjusted adult one day.

Educating must match the needs and emotions of children

It is essential that the upbring of the child be assisted by loving parenting attitude, which helps the child to feel dignified and safe always. Parents should be connected with the child even when the child becomes independent. They should accept and affirm who the child is, respecting their needs and also respecting the most difficult times when the children are immersed in the messy feelings.

All parents may find themselves at a time when they must maintain a positive attitude toward a fit of anger, a rebellious teenager, or a ten-year-old who responds rudely … even if it sometimes seems like an impossible mission since the temptation to end this anger is more powerful. But unconditional love toward the child should prompt you to act in a certain way, administering positive discipline so that the children know that you will be at their side no matter what happens.

Educating with guidance and without punishment

Perhaps “without punishment” seems to be something very unrealistic, but it is possible when a positive discipline and the consequences agreed upon with children become a reality. Children need limits because they cannot be allowed to run down the street or insult their father, but punishment undermines children’s self-esteem, so … what to do?

It is necessary to set boundaries through empathy and assertiveness, to help children learn to manage their emotions and therefore to be able to control their behavior. In this way, children can see themselves as competent and capable people to achieve things, something that will undoubtedly help them to increase their self-esteem and consequently improve their self-love.

On the other hand, punishment does not help children learn to manage their emotions. It only aggravates the situation, and they will begin to feel negative emotions like anger since they cannot control it. Thus, they believe that they are not good people who are not able to control themselves.

And that’s not true! They just need your help to be able to improve their self-esteem radically.

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