How My Love Changed after My Near-Death Experience

by David Bennett

Author of Voyage of Purpose

After my Near-Death Experience I wanted to develop some new friendships. It was challenging for me because my pendulum had swung so far toward my spiritual side that I was feeling love for everyone and everything. Thus many people misunderstood my loving intention. Women particularly mistook my loving manner as more than friendship, and wanted more serious relationships. Oh boy, was I being naive and blinded by my own spiritual growth. I didn’t have a clue about the signals women were sending me! Even when I was honest with them, indicating I was only looking for friendship, they still misinterpreted my loving manner. When I didn’t fulfill their expectations, they would get angry. I was really confused! Those monk robes were looking better.

A friend who had also experienced a similar profound spiritual awakening, told me about a book by P. M.H. Atwater, who writes about Near-Death Experiences (NDEs), called Coming Back to Life. Atwater has interviewed thousands of NDE experiencers. In this book, she is able to categorize a number of the common aftereffects. One thing really jumped off the page, she writes that since experiencers have been exposed to the highest level of unconditional love, it changes them and the way they show love. That’s it, my love’s changing! I’m not playing the role and I’m not expecting anything in return for the love I’m offering!

I understood that people were expecting me to play the role and I wasn’t cooperating. They didn’t understand it and until I read the book, neither did I. I knew there was something different about my love, but up until then I couldn’t put my finger on it. People around me felt my love going out to everything and they couldn’t understand it. Most people still don’t understand it, because it is contrary to our normal way of loving. Now that I better understand the power of unconditional love, I try to be aware of how projecting it might be affecting others. Sometimes I find I need to rein it in a little to avoid misunderstandings. Once I had this realization, it was like a light bulb went off. I had one of those ‘Aha’ moments. I could see how expectations played roles in my past relationships.

When ideas of love and expectations differ, that is when suffering starts. We feel the love is not working. I find it amusing that we often talk about how to “fix” broken love. When and how can love ever be broken? Only possessive or conditional love can be thought of as broken because the expectations of our humanness are not being fulfilled. When our expectations are not met we create our own suffering. Self-imposed suffering is a real physical pain that we feel in our hearts. In order to overcome it we need to clearly examine our expectations.

In the life review during my Near-Death Experience, I learned about the interconnection we have to everyone and everything in the universe. Our human nature to need love and to give love creates this interdependence we have with each other. Once you feel this interconnection you cannot help but know compassion for everyone. Compassion leads us to truly care for the well being of any person, regardless of race or background. As compassion grows within so do patience, understanding and tolerance of every situation we experience. With this, love becomes more a state of being instead of something directed toward others. We become a part of the greater love of Oneness and flow with it. The integration of this awareness into our physical being is easy for some and incredibly hard for others. But once integrated, you can begin to open your heart and keep it open longer, projecting more love and compassion. Working on the importance of love and interconnection, I recall my life review and seeing those ribbons and slivers of light that connect us to one another, how my actions and life experiences affected others. I could see an exchange of energy and communication between us. Many times this is a transfer of communication we are not aware of. This transfer occurs on multiple levels.

Interconnectedness has to do with transfer of energy and communication; one level seems to be on a sub atomic level. Subatomic refers to the electrons and nucleus of atoms. We think of everything as solid and individual. But in a subatomic universe, there is no separateness; there are just slower and faster moving elements. On this level we have protons and electrons that are attracted to each other. We also have the space between the electrons and protons, which plays a part in the attraction and exchange of elements. There is an exchange of elements between everything. Energetically we exchange communication and energy just by being in each other’s presence. We also exchange energy through thought and intention. You do not need to be in the same location to have an energy and communication exchange. Also linear time doesn’t apply when it comes to interconnection because a past action can create effects at any time. For example, a childhood issue can still affect you as an adult. Fortunately, we can go back and heal past situations and negative energy exchanges.

We may not realize it cognitively, but we are able to sense each other’s energy fields. Most of the time we do not consciously recognize what these energies are although some people are sensitive enough to perceive and interpret the energies. We sometimes call this a psychic ability. Our awareness of the communication amplifies the energy and the ability to translate it. Looking at this interconnection in another way, science has shown us that we are replacing our skin, organs and tissues in an ongoing process. We exhale our cells and breathe in others’ cells all the time. Every ten years we are a different person. With this ongoing physical exchange we are all becoming one. I find this amazing; must be the engineer in me.

You Are Buddha-ful!

Understanding interconnection reinforced my goal of becoming more mindful and compassionate. How we live our life and express our emotions affect those around us often without our knowledge. I know I have to take responsibility for my actions and strive to create more peaceful and calm interactions by being more loving. If I changed my output, I could change what I energetically communicate to others. I worked on this by being mindful of my emotions, thoughts and bringing more compassion to my interactions with others. In my life review, it was scary to watch how much energy was projected when my emotions were allowed to go wild. If I bring a more peaceful energy into my being it reduces the rapid, erratic waves of energy exchange, making a smoother, complete communication. How energy affects others remains a motivation to try and live with an open heart. It’s not enough to pray or to meditate about yourself, or to wish for a better life or outcome in a bad situation. Rich or poor, a person who lives his or her life with an extraordinary feeling of compassion is someone who has opened his or her heart. We sometimes let our focus on material things get in the way of opening our hearts and living in a state of love and compassion. Remember, not all spiritual men and women wear robes or live a monastic life. Balancing enough materialism to support your spiritual side is a way to a healthy and compassionate life. Everything is love, and it is through living compassionately that we will have everything we need.

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About the Author

David Bennett is a public speaker, an author, and a teacher. His website, www.dharmatalks.com is a respected resource for those looking for information on near-death experiences (NDE). He has appeared on and consulted for numerous radio and television programs, including Oprah and Dr. Oz, as an NDE resource. His new book, Voyage of Purpose, is now available at: findhornpress.com