Your Emotions Are Your Greatest Allies
Instead of seemingly random feelings rolling in and out, emotions become clues, assisting us in our growth.
Trust in Your Emotions
By Monica Berg
Our emotions range from joyousness to abject despair, and everywhere in between. We may see our emotions as random and uncontrollable, but they are an incredibly attuned guidance system, giving us valuable data if we stop and examine their sources. Simply by bringing awareness to what is happening when the feelings arise, we move away from being ruled by our emotions and instead become empowered by them.
Our emotions are one of the greatest assets we have in creating our most fulfilled life—that is when we know how to use them. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that most of us see negative emotions as something to be avoided at all costs. We enact all sorts of self-care practices and elaborate avoidance techniques to ward off feeling “bad” in any way about anything. But what a missed opportunity! Our feelings, even the ugly, uncomfortable, and downright infuriating ones are only here to help us. The same goes for our positive emotions. Like a giant feedback loop, our body and soul communicate with us through a broad range of emotions.
For example, unhappiness is often an indication that something needs to change, while feelings of joy or delight indicate that we are on the right track. Analyzing our emotions from this perspective shifts us into a more empowered position. Through the lens of evaluation, we inspect our emotions; we do not become our emotions. For instance, one can be angry without being an angry person. With this perspective we are no longer at the mercy of whatever feeling may arise, now we are working together with our emotional body, keenly aware of internal and external factors that contributed to the emotional state.
Give it a try: throughout the day, notice what feelings arise. What thoughts or actions preceded positive feelings? Conversely, what was happening when negative emotions surfaced? Emotions can be powerful, so if needed, wait 10 minutes, then revisit. There is no right or wrong answer; it’s just an exploration.
It is how we begin to use our emotions as data. When we spend time compiling the data, we then can look for patterns. We can see where we’re in alignment and where some changes need to be made. The goal is not to eliminate bad feelings, which is an impossibility, but rather to change where we spend our time and energy to bring more happiness into our lives.
An argument with a loved one or a difficult day at work can take us from joy to frustration in an instant, destroying our levity and perspective. We are humans, and we will always experience a broad range of human emotions. In difficult situations, we will still feel powerful emotions, but stepping back and making an assessment of our emotional state gives us the opportunity to choose a new perspective, and take positive action. In assessing why a scene was so upsetting, begin by asking questions, did it feel personal? Did it feel like the conflict was unfair, and if so why would that person have responded in that way? Many times conflicts come down to miscommunication. Perhaps, there is something that can be easily clarified. Other times we are simply in the proximity of someone who is not having a good day. Rather than attack them, a healthier approach may be to respond in kindness. A simple act of kindness can dispel even the most charged of situations and can completely alter our own emotions.
Begin by taking a few minutes every day to bring awareness to how we’re feeling. Noticing how we spend our time, whom we spend it with, and how our environment affects our mood. What patterns stand out? What relationships energize and support us? Which ones make us feel lacking or exhausted? How do we feel after each activity in our day? Do we feel inspired? Do we feel numb? Starting a journal or tracking notes on the phone is a great way to see patterns of emotions. Do this for a week and study the data.
Instead of seemingly random feelings rolling in and out, emotions become clues, assisting us in our growth. By starting to see our emotions as the data that they are, we set ourselves on a path to a lifelong friendship with our feelings.
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You will also enjoy Removing the Masks and Dr. Judith Orloff – Achieving Emotional Freedom
About the Author
Monica Berg is a teacher and writer who specializes in assisting people in living their most fulfilled lives through the wisdom of Kabbalah. She is the author of Fear Is Not an Option and serves as Chief Communications Officer for Kabbalah Centre International. Follow her weekly blog at rethinklife.today and stay in touch via Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
