Expanding Our Beliefs

When we fail to make progress toward specific goals, it is usually due to an old belief that is contrary to the goal or its consequences.  If we wish to reduce stress for instance, and a core belief is that we survive by remaining alert to danger, stress will continue. If our goal is to reduce clutter in our home, and external space reminds us of painful internal emptiness and deprivation, we will not likely reach our goal. If we wish to find true love yet our childhood experiences taught us that we will be hurt if we are trusting and vulnerable, then we typically attract others who are untrustworthy or harmful, or become that way ourselves and sabotage potential love. If we desire a promotion at work, but we cannot imagine ourselves as capable of the inherent responsibilities of that position, we will either not receive the promotion or will fail to maintain it if received.

What is necessary for success in the preceding examples is to re-examine original beliefs and the circumstances under which they were formed. How long have we had this belief and from whom and what situations did the belief arise? In looking back at these factors with adult perspective, were the people involved acting and communicating from a healthy or sick mindset? Were the events healthy or unhealthy? Beliefs and habits acquired during times of stress, substance abuse, confusion, loss, anger and trauma are not meant to apply to life in general. Recognizing our responsibility to heal and make constructive use of resources is critical to maturity, whether we are healing emptiness, abuse, betrayal or low self-esteem.