Six Mindful Strategies to Recover from the Shock of Loss

by Ronald Alexander

Today many of us are dealing with devastating losses in our lives from natural disasters such as the earthquake and tornadoes, to losing our homes, jobs and relationships.  After the initial shock of any type of trauma there are of course the various stages of grief that everyone goes through such as denial, rationalization, anger and acceptance. For those who are on this journey it is important to have faith in yourself and your inner compass that guides you. If you do this, you’ll understand that opportunities for growth and happiness lie in the most unexpected places, ready to be seized if you’re open to recognizing and embracing them. I don’t believe we ever get over a significant loss, but we do learn to move through it and live with it, and perhaps even learn to use it creatively to find our life’s purpose as well as harvest its lessons.

Mark and Selena, a couple I treated a few years ago are a remarkable example of how they dealt with a devastating loss and transformed their lives.  They came to me shortly after their two young children had been killed in a car crash when they were with their teenage babysitter who had somehow survived.  Mark and Selena were overwhelmed with guilt, anger, and feelings of loss. They could barely function and couldn’t begin to imagine how they could go on without their children or why they would want to. I discussed various treatment options and we agreed upon a method outlined in my book, Wise Mind, Open Mind that combines a mindfulness practice with positive psychology and creative thinking to help one let go of the past, tune into the present and their core creativity and finally move forward with the future.  While we were working with the tuning in stage, I was concerned that due to the depth of their sadness it could take several years before they would be ready to move out of their grief and begin to envision a new life.