Feelings
Add to this is the increasing challenge of staying connected to feelings which reside in our body in a high-tech, stressful world that all but erases our animal nature. As we have evolved into high-tech beings, we have abandoned the body by living virtual lives that over-emphasize the mind. Computers and automobiles dominate our lives. Physical activity falls by the wayside as we walk less and drive more. We move less and think more. We play less and surf the web more. Indeed, our primary forms of entertainment find us sitting in front of some kind of screen and, unfortunately, “high definition” does not refer to the effect on our muscle tone. We are learning that our physiology affects our emotions. Emotions affect our thinking. Thoughts affect our emotions, which affect our physiology, which then affects feeling and thinking, and so it goes.
Traumatic events in childhood that remain unresolved also reinforce the “disconnect” between mind and body. Trauma takes many forms: physical or emotional abuse, accident or injury, natural disaster, or seeing another abused or in pain are just a few examples. For a child, such events can be difficult to cope with if an adult or older child with sufficient empathy is not available to mitigate the circumstance. If unresolved, the event lives on in our body as something incomplete. Unresolved trauma from the past then appears in the present as the body attempts to reach resolution. Once such a pattern is set up, any similarly stressful event can trigger the old pain. If the pattern involves dissociation or addictive behaviors we either check out or reach for some substance to soothe our ragged edges. Heaven Forbid we should feel.
A FIVE STEP SOLUTION
FOR THOSE MOMENTS WHEN FEELINGS GET TOO OVERWHELMING AND YOU MAY BE LOOKING TO ESCAPE:
Step One: COMMIT Commit to place all of your attention on yourself for the next 2 minutes. Point or imagine pointing at your chest and say out loud or silently: “I am willing and ready to focus my attention on my body and feel what it is feeling right now.”
Step Two: BREATHE Take three slow, deep, full breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax and fill your belly on each inhalation, then release the breath slowly and let your jaw drop open as you exhale. Keep the out-breath natural like a soft sigh. Release the breath out through your throat, careful not to force it through your lips by blowing or pushing your exhale out. Breathe in and out rhythmically and let whatever wants to happen in your body happen. If your head wants to lean forward, let it. If your hand tightens, let it.
