by Renata Caddy

Out of blue I dreamed red

In red I fell into black

Through black I won gold

In gold I knew white

In white I recognized You

Then I awoke

“Oh daughter of the Himalayas!”

I heard a gentle voice inside of me singing, again and again.

I sat in the plane to India on my way to Babaji who had appeared in a cave in Herakhan in 1970. Herakhan lies some 10 hours to the northeast of Delhi.

It was January 15, 1978. I was in my 36th year. If someone had told me at Christmas time, that three weeks later I would be sitting in a plane to India on the way to Babaji, I would not have believed it and would have considered it impossible. How did it come to pass?

Despite years of dedicated spiritual training, I had reached a point of deep internal crisis. As a result of difficult life circumstances, I felt myself somehow at a loss. From the depths of my heart I implored God: “Please help me!” – that is when Babaji appeared!

Two years previously, in 1975, I had already heard of Babaji through a friend, Gabriele Wosien. At that time I was somehow skeptical when I was told: “The Babaji who Paramahansa Yogananda wrote about in his Autobiography of a Yogi has appeared again, and this time he is there for the public.”

Of how many people has it been claimed that they are the legendary Babaji?

But when I saw a photo of him shortly after his public appearance, I was deeply moved. Whilst I breathed his name up through my spine, an intense light arose! Still the time was not yet ripe. After the death of the « Mother », the partner of Shri Aurobindo who had guided me from within since 1968, I no longer wanted an external spiritual teacher.

I was not really open, but I fixed his photo on the wall in my studio beside the other great teachers from east and west whom I had encountered either inwardly or outwardly and whom I revered.

Two years later when, together with my friend Marcel, I met Gabriele Wosien by chance again in Munich and took her back to our home, she told us during the car journey about Babaji while the thick snow fell outside. We were totally surrounded in white.

“His teaching is so simple. He teaches truth, simplicity and love, and that it is important to continually repeat God’s name!”

All of this now reached a wide-open heart.

On the night of New Year’s Eve, she showed us and a group of friends some pictures of Babaji – at that time there were not many photos. Each one of them was more moving than the last. My eyes fell on one picture that gave me a real shock. It showed the old Herakhan Baba, of whom it is said that he is Babaji in an earlier form. His gaze was so stern and penetrating that he really frightened me: “Oh no, he cannot be that strict with me!” I thought.

The next morning, the morning of New Year’s Day, I awoke beaming from a dream about a white field of snow, with the happily satisfying inner knowledge that I would immediately be flying to Babaji.

A friend of ours planned to fly to a solar energy congress in Delhi in the middle of January and I knew spontaneously that I would be travelling with him. I had never been in the north of India before.

Then the stern picture of Herakhan Baba came to my mind again, so that I asked Gabriele Wosien: “Please show me that awe-inspiring photo once again!”

Whether I liked it or not, Babaji began to look at me and to work with me just through this picture. He made me conscious of everything in me that was not in harmony with the Divine. I truly got frightened. But it was clear for me that I definitely did not want to fly to Babaji with fear!

Various aspects within me said: “Why the haste? You can go to Babaji later as well, for example in the autumn.” But the innermost within me knew: “Now or never!”

I went into seclusion and from deep within I asked Babaji: “Please help me!”

But no direction came, no dream. I was simply being processed. Finally, in the evening dusk of the third day, as I made a small ritual fire ceremony and once again looked deeply into the picture of the Old Herakhan Baba, infinite love came towards me, love and nothing but love! Overwhelming and completely wonderful: I felt the presence in the room of the young Babaji who said to me: “Now you can come.”

Now that it was clear that I would make the flight and not before, now at last he gave me a dream. I call it “the little dream,” despite the fact that it was significant and later provided me with the central key for understanding Babaji’s current appearance.

The Mandala Dream

I saw the creation pictured in the form of five giant three-dimensional mandalas. Each one superseded the next. They were of themselves very dynamic, moving around a still centre, an empty but seemingly breathing circle. In the middle, coming from an entirely other dimension far away, a being slowly came into appearance.

At times I only saw his face, at others he sat in the lotus position, different and new in each of the mandalas but always giving the impression of asceticism. It was Babaji. I knew; he is the Lord of the mandalas.

At the last mandala he, the Lord of the mandalas, who had always been in the middle, now danced from the outside right into his own mandala. At first I saw him in profile. A soft young profile. But then he turned his face towards me, laughing, having become quite rounded.

I awoke with a great shock and thumping heart: Shocked because he had laughed, shocked because he, the sublime Lord of the mandala, who is always in the centre, was now also dancing from the outer right side into his own mandala. Thereby he changed his form greatly, growing significantly in volume and weight.

Click HERE to Connect with your Daily Horoscope!

About the Author

Renata Caddy is a writer and painter who teaches courses and directs workshops on the topics of self-discovery, self-realization, and happiness.

For more information or to purchase the book, click the cover or visit: FindhornPress.com