Mark Waldman – Words Can Change Your Brain

Omtimes: In this sense, how important is to apply Compassionate Communication in education?

Mark Waldman: It is absolutely essential. We see everyday communication as a person on the defensive. We did not go to a room full of strangers saying “Oh, my God, I cannot tell you how good the food was.” We are trained to start talking to the other person from a defensive posture. But what neuroscience tells us is that this defensive posture at the time that I have questions or show a hint of irritation or anxiety in my voice, the brain of the other person is scared or angry a bit. We are suggesting that, perhaps, most of the conflicts in this world are caused by a basic error. If we train to enter new conversations with new people and stay relaxed inside, speaking automatically with warmth and compassion, the other person’s brain trust us. So we eliminate the conflict before it begins.

Omtimes: Then optimism is the best way to exercise your brain.

Mark Waldman: It is one of the best ways. If we have hope, faith and optimism that the next moment will be as wonderful as it can be, we make our life complete. People who are optimistic live two years more than people who are pessimistic. What is important to know is that our brain is designed to remember thoughts, feelings and negative memories. We must make a tremendous effort to build optimism and that’s why, for example, we ask people to make a list of all the negative thoughts they have had for one day. We can choose to consciously stop the negativity. We also need to know that almost every thought of anxiety, worry, fear and doubt, is a fantasy created in our frontal lobes. We take all the negative memories and project that possibility might happen in the future. It turns out our right frontal lobe tends to generate negative thoughts and feelings consciously, while our left frontal lobe tends to generate positive thoughts and feelings consciously. The two occur together.