Life, What’s Love Got To Do With It?

by Chessie Roberts

How many types of love can you think of? Parent for child and vice versa, man for mate, for a pet, for a place and it goes on and on. For this article I am focusing on the basic two types of love. The one at our second chakra, the sacral chakra, located at our lower abdomen, around genitals and womb, which is what most of us are focused on, and the one at our fourth chakra, the heart chakra, located beside our biological heart.

Second chakra first; what is it here that trips up humanity? Here is where we start to become aware of other people in our life. It is where all our desire and yearning for union to occur happens. It is where the reflection of our three parts, body, mind and spirit begin to become balanced. In the Western society, as well in others, these three parts become separated, segmented and alienated one from the other. Because of this, desire becomes need.

We need to feel the basic connections of life and achieve a real sense of satisfaction. This is our immature level, where we struggle to understand relationships and, often, in this scenario, at this level our desire becomes need. It is a need born of pain, tension and estrangement. All of the painful feelings come from parts that we have repressed or let go of out of a false sense of requirement. Here is where so many get stuck. This is just a stage humanity must grow through to understand the higher levels of this frightening and wonderful emotion. When we get hurt here one of two things will happen. We will learn to grow or we will hang on to the hurt so we have an excuse to not accomplish the relationship thing. If we choose to get stuck here, we eventually decide to let go and to push away all ideas that a relationship can work.

This letting go, this repression, causes us to try to find our sense of reality in ways that can become hurtful. This happens because we are looking outside our self for something to make us feel better. We are looking to try to feel either something or nothing most of the time. At this stage, we think we don’t care which. The trouble with this is that the outside substances, smoking, drugs, drinking, sex, shopping, gambling, that sort of thing, only damages us in the long run. The damage is not only physical it is also mental and emotional. As our outside ‘helper’ doesn’t get the job done, we push away our support system until we no longer have one. The next time we try something else or a stronger version of what is not working at the time. All of this is done to try to fill a void that we do not understand. As we continue to hurt our selves and unsuccessfully self medicate, we create a vicious cycle of frustration and dissatisfaction. Each failure here creates an attachment to the method we have chosen. We keep repeating the action(s) hoping that this time they will work and when they do not, we fall into a pattern of destructive behavior from which we feel we have no escape.

The feature here is pleasure which is often a very touchy subject. Most have been taught that this is something to be denied at every opportunity. The idea that one must cut themselves off from all types of pleasure to gain control over one’s biology, thoughts and feelings is a core belief in many philosophies. Pleasure is seen as self-indulgent and as a weakness, and, used incorrectly it can be. However I tell you that pleasure is CREATOR GIVEN. It is an aspect of our human nature and should not be totally avoided. Now I am not advocating that we act on the ‘pleasure principle’ in inappropriate ways or times, balance and restraint are called for here, nevertheless, it is an essential aspect to insure our body’s health and harmony. It is all right to feel pleasure without guilt or shame, it is part of our balanced biology and we are allowed to enjoy it.

The growth aspect here is what sets us up for the love we find at Chakra 4 (heart chakra). This is the one we are striving for. Yes, we can find a mate/companion as we grow and that is the goal. To not get stuck, to keep growing, to see what is happening within and to use it to our advantage. The job of Chakra 4 is to create a binding force of love that is a free, joyous acceptance of us and all things. If we are paying attention, we can realize that balance is a must! When we are out of balance here; we become judgmental and manipulative and control of others is important to our happiness. Truth of others is subjugated by our ideas of what we think it should be. And, conversely, we know we are in balance when we no longer feel the pull of our lower chakras and we realize that we create our own reality and that we can influence others.

Our goal at Chakra 4 is to live in unconditional love for yourself and others, exercise tolerance and balance within our Body, Mind, Spirit spectrum. When we can allow things to be what they are and realize the Divine Paradox that the thing that seems to be small is really huge and that which seems to be huge is in reality, very small, we have reached our best understanding.

Unlike the sexual object driven love that we found in Chakra 2 (sacral chakra), the love at Chakra 4 is from within and presents as a state of being. This love is not driven by need, want or manipulation as the sexual type so often can be. This love is driven by a free, joyous, acceptance of our newfound place within all things. At this point, we are no longer fighting against love but are moving in harmony with it. As we come into this harmony we begin to feel and move with the give and take of the free flow of it. We will find that the control that was once important to us is now only control of our selves. We can now learn to feel this new all encompassing love toward all we encounter and the old, outmoded and self serving thought processes of the past will stop.

True, unconditional love has the ability to let others exist in his or her own space and grow at their own rate, without our input or concern. Here at our fourth chakra where the essence is truth, we find our selves receptive rather than aggressive about ‘how things should be’. Our ability to allow is exponential. When we reach out to others from this new platform of love, we find that our love at Chakra 4 radiates out from us easily and spontaneously without losing our center. When we can live from a place of compassion and love, we start living in our now and we have no idea how we can/will influence the lives of others. We stop judging by our standard of how things should be and begin to allow things to be what they are and…our life gets better.

When we are mature enough in our spiritual growth we do begin to see everyone and everything through the unconditional love of our fourth chakra and we realize that every circumstance and situation could just be the very best thing that could/ is happening to us. With this attitude, we find that we are living from a place of love and grace and that these things are delivered right to us, now, not later.

When we judge others and criticize them for not handling situations, circumstances and thought processes the way we feel that we would or that we did in the past, we are not seeing a few things. The first one is that no two people live life in exactly the same way. Backgrounds are different, perceptions are different, time in history may be different and that, in and of itself, will color everything about that person. Don’t believe me? Then try this, ask a sibling or close relative about an event that you both attended. Notice where your memories match and where they do not. Neither of you is wrong, you just have different perceptions of the event. My brother and I decided years ago the we had grown up in different homes with different parents together. No matter how well we think we know someone we can never truly know their circumstances or the details of their lives. The only one that we can truly know is ourselves and that takes a willingness to work toward that end, which is why you are reading this article.

Our heart requires that we see the world in terms of relationships. They are the glue that causes our connection to occur on a personal level as well as on a ‘world around us’ level. This perspective also requires we to come from a place of understanding balance within the arena of our body, mind, spirit system. This will require a bit of ego loss in order to allow a merging with people, experiences and things outside of our ‘self’ and it is oh so worth it.

Love is unity, merging, balance, it is that part of life that nurtures, feeds and supports us. The ‘Mother part’ teaches and heals, the ‘Father part’ guides, comforts and stabilizes. The ‘Child part’ is innocent and open to learn and grow. When all of these work together willingly, joyfully and peacefully, we become that love, that life force, that expression and manifestation. We are also its vehicle through which we grow, triumph and transcend. Love is the force upon which all others turn. Sometimes, the most profound love we can have is one that simply allows things to be what they are. Bright Blessings.

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About the Author

Chessie Roberts is a Singer/song Writer, Spiritual Teacher, Mind-set Mentor, Meditation Coach, Author, Radio Host, Lecturer and the Founder/Creator of Evolution of Self: Journey into Body, Mind, Spirit Balance. Her experience with severe, crippling arthritis was her catalyst to share her healing, experiential, self-improvement program with those who wish to rediscover their balance of Body, Mind, Spirit. We can find Chessie’s programs and products at www.ChessieRoberts.com, her Radio Program at www.IntentionRadio.com/thegrid her music at www.ArchersMeadow.com and her latest book at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FX9XGY0.