Neediness vs. Gratefulness

by Asim Choudhury

From my own experience, I have been struggling with my needs to be needy versus being grateful, for no reason whatsoever. We can all see there is no need to be needy. Gratefulness can still work great, provide for our needs and much more, and keep us happy in this process as well. Still, the stomach wins over the heart as it winces, craves, and our survival instinct wins over our sense of greater well being.

Because, I think and feel that from our childhood we form an association in between our hunger and satisfaction. When we felt hungry when we were babies, we cried and our needs were taken care of. So, internally, we made an association that our needs lead to satisfaction or, in other words there is no satisfaction for us without forming our needs first.

And, when it comes to gratefulness, there is not any more need to be needy. Gratefulness takes over neediness. However, it feels like needs come before gratefulness, and hence we wait. We wait to feel grateful, we wait till we get what we want. We hold on to our needs, as if needs fulfill our needs. Why not try gratefulness instead, and see if it fulfills our needs or not!

“But,” one may ask, “How can I be grateful when I have needs? Being grateful is a state where there are no more needs! Is not it?”

However, has anyone fulfilled any of their needs, ever? Has anyone fulfilled their need of money? Has anyone fulfilled their need of love? Has anyone fulfilled their need of spiritual, godly experiences?

When we have found something, then we may think that we can let go; however, needs cannot let go of themselves. They threaten our very existence, by the disappearance of all our possessions, and disappearance of our needs! This prevents us from ever seeing clearly and letting go of our needs fully.

However, with gratefulness, things may go and come. We are grateful for life itself.

It is not that we don’t desire anything or we don’t have any needs. It is just that we are grateful for everything we have, or do not have.

The mind cannot see and perceive the power of gratefulness. We all can perceptually sense the power of gratefulness, where everything feels clear and lighthearted. But, when we reach to the mind for verification, the mind denies it and grabs on to the neediness. The map of the mind works something like this:

(Need it -> Get it -> Feel satisfied about it)

However, as our period of satisfaction is short, we keep needing more in order to keep us pacified. Because, for the mind, absence of needs means absence of happiness. The mind keeps on projecting more needs in order to keep itself happy.

Being grateful means no agenda for the mind, which is immensely threatening to it. The mind says to us, “As I have no agenda, what are you going to do? How are you going to survive and fulfill your needs? You don’t know anything without me! How will you trace your path in life to success, freedom, and happiness without me? ”

This is the power of the mind, that it says that it knows and it projects its knowing to the unknown! And, since it knows, it does not know how to receive, because it must apply its knowledge to get what it wants or it is worthless by its own terms. This attitude also leads to arrogance of the mind.

With knowledge also comes preferences for us; i.e., we know what we want. And, in this way, we get used to things that the mind gets attached to. Then, we experience a very difficult time letting it go. However, for the growth to happen the old must let go of itself so that the new can come in. The mind cannot afford to stay the same because everything moves on in life.

There is a mountain after each valley and a valley after the mountain. The valley is where the rest and preparation happen for the growth in the mountain. While one can enjoy immensely both the mountains and the valleys for their inherent values, we may also unconsciously choose to suffer them for having to let go of our past and our comfort zones during the mountains, and in dread of the mountains while in the valleys.

Being grateful is a great tool to be always ready in life, to proceed and to move on, without sticking anywhere and be joyful at the same time. We don’t put a condition on life to make us happy. We choose our own experience and decide to be happy. The mind being a conditioned device gives up and throws up looking for its own familiar conditions and circumstances.

To find this eternal gratefulness, one must find the core of one’s being, which is totally unconditioned and a joyful witness. Because, in truth, only the being exists and everything else is a condition brought forward by the mind.

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About the Author

Asim Choudhury is the creator and founder of “Awakening the Inner Sun Within,” to help people to transform their lives for good with various quantum healing modalities. His mission is to allow others to receive the love and proper education that will eradicate the victim persona to find their inner healer within to finally end the search and meeting their inner master. www.blissofnewsun.net