Do You Need to Forgive Yourself?
In Soul Inspirations, I wrote about how to forgive others, so it seemed appropriate to dedicate this article to the process of how to forgive yourself. Ask yourself this BIG question: “Do you find it easier to forgive others more than to forgive yourself?”
There may be times when you did something you’re not proud about. Yes, we all do it from time to time, and yes … some of us more often than others! The feelings of shame and guilt that are associated can easily complicate your life, causing stress and emotional discord. It weighs heavy on your soul.
Societal conditioning encourages us to forgive everyone else for our actions, but if you don’t forgive yourself, you’ll end up holding the key to your own emotional captivity. This may sound overly dramatic, but I’ve seen far too many people who come for a reading, who have layers upon layers built up, and it’s only when you peel away those layers, can the healing process begin. So this article is about how to forgive yourself, before you even create the very first layer!
Many of us agonize over our past mistakes, living them over and over again in our minds, like a video caught in a perpetual replay loop. It depletes your energy and prevents you from forgiving yourself. When you feel guilty, you attract punishment into your life, and in situations that are more serious, you even manifest it for yourself.
It’s easy to reconcile the feelings, by saying: “I deserve this.”
In a newsletter that I wrote some time ago, I reviewed the Serenity Prayer. There are sentences in it, which I want to repeat here, as they seem so pertinent:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can,”
and
“Your past mistake may not be fixable but you can acknowledge, accept, take responsibility for them and begin the healing process on yourself.”
If you’ve hurt someone and need closure with those feelings, maybe it’s time to be courageous.
~ Talk to the person and really listen to them with an open heart as they explain how they’ve been hurt by you.
~ Don’t go on the defensive – just listen.
~ Understand how they feel.
~ Try to apologize but if they’re reluctant to accept, then acknowledge the pain that you’ve caused.
~ Remember that it’s often just as important for the other person to come to terms with the hurt, to understand the whys and wherefores, as they need closure too.
Equally, you may want to ask forgiveness from someone who’s passed away. When I link with spirit as a medium, I often connect with souls who look back at their lives and the people still on the earth plane with a new sense of wisdom, appreciation, and understanding. I’m sure they don’t take past grudges across with them.
There are times when I feel their forgiveness in the link so strongly. Every time you make amends for the wrongs you’ve done to others, you begin the healing journey for them as well as yourself. It may take some time to regain their trust or their respect. Ask them what they expect of you, what you can do for them, or be more proactive and offer up a few suggestions. On a soul level, it’s worth it.
As always, I want to remind you that you’re a spiritual being in human form, that you experience everything in the physical world, but as humans we make mistakes. It’s human nature that you’ll continue to make more in this lifetime and your future lives after that. It is important to know how to forgive yourself, and recognizing the right words of forgiveness to say. As long as you ‘own it,’ take responsibility so that you learn from past mistakes, and move in a positive direction, you’ll be living and loving from your soul as well as your heart.
JOHN’S LESSON
This week you may want to try the following self-forgiveness exercise – it really does help:
Find somewhere to get comfortable, somewhere where you won’t be disturbed for a little while. Close your eyes and take a deep cleansing breath in. With each inward breath, feel the love of Spirit, the Divine Source coming into your body.
Feel it slowly and gently wrap itself around your whole body. Accept this loving energy.
Now imagine in your mind’s eye an image of yourself at the age when you were most vulnerable. Really see yourself. Look deep into your eyes. You know that the eyes are the windows of the soul, and they somehow seem to be asking:
“Will you forgive me?”
Know and acknowledge you’re taking responsibility for hurting another or yourself.
Now, let this energy fill your entire heart area. Hold the energy there for a moment and say: “Dear (your name) I hold you in my heart with all this love and want the very best for in this moment now. I love you and forgive you for the painful choices, and mistakes that you have made in the past. I now release and let go of the experience with love.”
Have a SOUL filled week!
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About the Author
John Holland is an American artist, best-selling author, spiritual teacher, and public speaker, who describes himself as a psychic medium. johnholland.com
