Iyanla Vanzant: Mastering the 4 Essential Trusts
As human beings, we often seem primed to remember who and what hurt us rather than focusing on how we made it through the pain. Some of us have lived through some horrific experiences as children and adults. At some point, however, if we ever want to trust who we are and the power we have, we must choose to remember that we can, in fact, rely on ourselves to handle difficult situations, circumstances, and people. To learn to trust ourselves, we must be willing to surrender and forgive those who may have caused us hurt or harm or who threatened our mental, emotional, or physical survival. Learning to trust yourself means focusing on the good you are, the good you have, and the good you desire so that the truth can heal all error thought and allowed you to see the blessing hidden in all that you have been through, gone through, and grown through.
OMTimes: What are the first lessons that human beings learn about trust?
Iyanla Vanzant: Trust is an essential soul need and the first task of the human ego. It grows from the need to be safe, to belong, and to survive. Learning to trust others and ourselves is something the ego struggles with for a lifetime. As infants, we are dependent on others to provide all of our basic needs: food, clothing, warmth, protection, and affection. We trust our parents and/or caregivers blindly because we know nothing else. If our needs are met consistently and responsively, not only do we learn to trust our parent’s ability to provide for us but we learn to trust our environment as well. If, for any reason, our basic needs are not met consistently and affectionately, we develop a sense of mistrust toward people and life. Then as we grow up, our unmet and unaddressed trust needs can turn into blame, resentment, anxiety, frustration, suspicion, anger, and a sense of helplessness and rejection. Such feelings often fester and grow into dysfunctional behavior patterns that impact every aspect of our lives.
